Month: April 2026

I’m not religious but THANK YOU JESUS AND GOD!

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Thank GOD that these four weeks is over.

Cartoon filter on

Today was the last day of my internship and I couldn’t be more happy!

I woke up today with a smile on my face. Even though it was super early. Tired but happy. After all, today was the f i n a l day at my internship.

I decided to put makeup on and bring my style out. Skulls, makeup, fixed hair etc. I was going out with a bang. I haven’t been allowed to have my style because it would scare the kids. I had actually been there with some t-shirts with gothic stuff and that wasn’t popular but I don’t own all black clothes and I refuse colorful.

So I went to my internship, all “glammed” goth up and the kids loved it. They got to see the real me. They didn’t get scared. They asked questions like “what do you have on your eyes?” Etc so I told them that it’s makeup. They complimented me so so much on it. Some of the smaller children were so cute, they were pointing on their face – like the eye and then at mine and all off the sudden said “wow”.

The fact that no child were scared made me so happy.

When I was going (end of my “shift”) I went and said good bye to all the kids. Thanked them for having me and so many children didn’t want me to leave. They wanted me to stay. That says ALOT in my ears.

Four weeks, 35 kids and they don’t want me to leave. Yet the staff / teachers didn’t like me and caused problems for me.

All I can say is, thank God it’s over. I’m so happy but also so sad because I will miss all the kids. The laughter, jokes, games, hide-and-seeks, chasing each other, the bridge I did with them when they had outdoor playtime, and all the hugs.

I will not miss the staff (except the food lady. She was super sweet) and in my opinion, their fakeness.

Yeah they will probably read this. I know my teach do HEY MARIANNE! and she probably show the principal. Oh that reminds me, they want a meeting with me on monday . Yay.

Oh, did I tell you guys that I have been sued by the preschool teachers? Why you might ask.. well here’s the truth; a child were abusing and punched another child in the face with their fist (ok let me make it easier ; Punching child will be X and the child who got beaten will be Y).

I may have been a student there but when I saw X punched with the first smack of fist on the child Y and I saw the child X was going to do it again with the other hand, I instantly said No out loud towards the child. Note that I was the only adult who saw it! The other adults had their backs towards the situation and that’s why iam being sued. I said no to a child. Even thought I spoke with the child afterwards and explained that I got scared when I saw it happen and I didn’t want to see stuff like that etc. On calm voice and low level. I even told one of the adults what happened and this adult J said “sometimes a punch is necessary!” Like excuse me..!? Are you for real!?

So I wrote to my teacher after we had a meeting at the internship saying that I will back off, not intervene when situations like that happen again. I also wrote “if the adults and preschool accepts abuse and punches, I will let them do their race. I won’t do a shit “.

That’s why I’m having a meeting with them on monday.

So that has been one of the “highlights” of these four weeks. Yes I was sarcastic when I wrote highlights..

Do you think I did wrong?

I’ve made a decision and realized stuff

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Last week. The last week of my internship and I have mixed feelings.

This is my fourth week at my internship. It has been good, it has been bad. I have asked a lot of questions, I have learned alot about the “school”, a lot about myself and a lot of decisions.

It has not been all gold and diamonds during these weeks. Stuff has happen that has made me cry. Meetings with my teacher and supervisor (always at every internship so it’s nothing new).

I have eyebrows. I promise. Haha!

Positive about the internship

  • The nickname I have gotten from one child; miima and ima (it’s a bit hard for the child to say Emma, so it’s ok)
  • The children feel safe around me
  • Children are so safe that they fall asleep in my lap (biggest reward ever)
  • The laughs between the children and I, all the playful moments, laughter and just.. being silly.
  • Got to know the children (on a teacher student level)

Negative about the internship

  • I had lumbar after first week at the internship so I couldn’t attend two days that week but struggled myself to the internship the other three days.
  • Problems.
  • Tears.
  • The lifting of the children, in and out of chairs, couch etc.
  • Bending down
  • Their small children height tables
  • Not allowed to have your own fashion style..

What I realized and all the decisions
  • Working with children 1-3 years old isn’t for me nor my body.
  • I actually don’t want to work at this town’s preschools so I’m gonna apply for work in other towns.
  • Do not tell about family situation when it comes to matching times etc (I’ll explain later)
  • I will still continue to study to become a preschool teacher, but for first, before becoming a PS teacher, I’ll check around on other work areas that I’ll be allowed to work with when this is over.

Today is the second last day (tomorrow is my last day) and I have honestly mixed feelings. Even though it has been a lot of problems here, it’s the kids I will be missing. I have gotten to know 35 kids and some has become really attached with me (I try really hard to back off from them but they are clinging on me haha!)

Yesterday when I was going home at the end of my “shift” at the internship, sooo many children didn’t want me to go. They hugged me, spoke to me, joked with me and hugged me even more. So this will be the part I will be missing alot. The beautiful connection I have with the children.

Maybe I will work as extra here but I am not sure yet due to what has happened.

A bit of today on next page

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The big adventure with an autistic boy

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆2 Comments

I wrote in my last post that I was gonna write a new post about the adventure I had with my son to another city and here we go, with pictures and all.

The morning was ok but my son was nagging about going on bus which we usually do on weekends just to social train him and to do something with him instead of just being home.

But all off the sudden my brain went in adventure mode so I started to look up train times, bus times etc. We had 10 minutes to get ready and fortunately we had done everything as normal in the morning so we stressed to get dressed etc.

We got to the station with two minutes before the train would go. Lucky us!

It was the first time for me to ever leave the town we live in, alone with my son so I was nervous but also excited. A new adventure for us!

Bus, train, shopping, train, bus

Looking out the windows to see the whole adventure in train.

I went crazy taking pictures of my son. Yes he was the model and now black and white photos will be posted.

After two hours ish on the train we got off and our big new city adventure started.

It was a bit walk and crossroads we had to pass to get to the shopping area and he actually walked really well. No fuss or anything. Even waited when we had to stop (me empty my shoe several times of mini stones).

Just because he was so good. Behaved super well, he got a reward. A book but also “new” toys (he already have them at home but wanted more so he got it)

Shopping; new book and new toys for him and beauty products, soap bubbles stuff and a new mug for me – no fuss for candy or sodas.

Lunchtime: burger and fries. I didn’t eat due to my stomach. (Took photos but no point of showing)

The rest of the pictures I took during our adventure – black and white but also mixed with some colors.

The cathedral

Picture on the train on our way home

Color photos during the day

My little gentleman held the stuff for me the entire day. I didn’t ask or force him; he just wanted to do it.

That’s pretty much our adventure. I will let the photos speak more than me writing.

Crazy weeks

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Passed week. Shopping, internship, emotions, Rollercoaster with feelings and a big adventure.

Hello my loves! I hope you all are doing Okey. I will try to come back to the blog more often but this internship and mom life on same time as I do school work etc is pretty hectic.

Internship: It has been good until yesterday when everything flipped upside down. I can’t go into details, but it’s pretty bad with all the lies, etc. (Anxiety: the roller-coaster of feelings and emotions)

Positive note about the internship is that I have memorized all names on all 35 children plus adults. I have done school works that I had to do with the children and it was so much fun. I will write more about that later in another post.

Mom life part , well I’m a mom so it’s always hectic but I have actually challenged myself and been way out of my comfort zone when it comes to my son (I will write a post about the whole day and post pictures) – I took him to another city by train..alone.. no support or what so ever.

E has gotten a big-boy bike. He now owns his very first bike, and I laugh every time I think about it. He has the correct size on the bike for his age, but he is too tall for it, so the bike is small for him. But he has managed to crack the code of how to use the pedals, etc. Now it’s just the balance left, so we’re going to buy a new bigger bike for him so he can practice better.

Proud mom for sure.

I have a new phone and no pictures so I have nothing to post in this post until I’m on my laptop and can BT them over to the phone

Byee x

Positive and negative but hey, one step forward.

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Typical. When the internship has only been one week and my back decide to break down.

Hey guys! Last week (w. 15. 7 of April to 10th of april) I had my first week at the internship, like I wrote a little bit on the last post. Today was supposed to be the start of the second week – well supposed and supposed.. It is but sadly I had to stay home today.

L u m b a g o is back and it seems to really dislike me. It actually started one day during the internship. I felt the pain when I was around the kids so I said straight out “nooo nononononononooo” and my supervisor asked me what was wrong so I told her and last night it came.

Woho. Hopefully I can go back to the internship tomorrow if my back allows me. Normally I have lumbago for a week so pray for me 😵‍💫

Positive things during all this is that I have learned all 35 kids names and trust me, that has been hard. So I’m actually a bit proud of myself on that part and it is actually a big / huge step forward for me due to my memory loss due to stress and depression. So yay! 》I also have realized that (ok this might not be as positive but on same time it is) my body won’t be able to work with 1-3 year old children due to lifting, holding them etc. I love children but I have to listen to my body for once.

If I’m able to go back to the internship this week, I’m actually changing location to try and see how the next stage of preschool. 4-6 year old kids. I have met almost everyone of them  – some (even at my place with 1-3 year olds) has been sick and had week off due to Easter break. But I still know their names and how they look like. They have their names and a picture of them on their dressing shelf (outdoor clothes. I dont really know what it calls so lets go with that).

An other positive thing is that I can continue with what am doing when moving in shadows! I promise I will tell you all later but for now. Shhhh 🤫

A negative thing; I bought new phone due to this phone’s OLED display panel is ruined and I was hoping I would get the phone pretty fast (normally within few days in Sweden) but sadly.. I don’t know when I’m gonna get it. I just got an email from the company that they are still waiting on the delivery of the phones to their warehouse. So I hope this phone holds on for a bit longer. I’m scared it will die on me and I have my banking, buscard etc on my phone.  So I’m nervous, scared and extremely frustrated on the whole situation!

The phone wallet case has arrived though so I can protect the phone. But to be fair, I bought this phone as a present for myself when I graduated nurse assistant school and it’s about .. two or three years ago? Ohmygod. So long ago. I rarely change phones. Some people change often and here I come, with a phone that i bought years ago and before that I had my other phone for 4 years. Lol! So no I don’t spend a lot on technology except headphones. My laptop is 9 years and still working even with cracked frame. Lol!

Oh well, as they say, “someone who’s waiting on something good, never waits too long” (den som väntar på nått gott, väntar aldrig för länge). I think it’s just a swedish expression / saying but I can be wrong..

Spring is here. Finally. I will show you guys pics i have taken lately (Easter, weather changing within two days etc)  soon.

I need to go rest now due to the lumbago. So I’m gonna put the phone away and listen to music while in bath, hoping that the pain will atleast get a little better.

Happy New week! And let’s kick .. ass.. Sorry it came up in my head. Maybe I should learn to not wrote everything that pops up in my head.

Bye my beautiful souls.

OLED DISPLAY PANEL SMASHED

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✨️ C H A O S ✨️

I did actually blog last Friday and wished you all happy Easter and showed photos from my day with family. But, it didn’t post.. it failed and when I was going to look and fix it so it would be published, it was gone.

Plus, my phone fell off a shelf when I was doing the dishes so it smashed onto a frying pan, in water, busted the display so it smashed the OLED panels on the display so I had to emergency empty the phone of medias I want to save ans pray to God that the phone will be with me til Friday when I hopefully get the new phone I just ordered.

I googled on how to get the green tint on screen gone and it says – due to it being a malfunction in the system and oled display panel, it can’t go away and they recommended me to empty the phone because when this happen, apparently a phone only survive a few days before the screen completely die.

And get it to a workshop to have the screen changed would cost me €400‐€600 .. and that is just the display.. My new phone i just bought cost me €1200.

Sure I actually love my Samsung S23 Ultra, I do but a new one cost as much as a S25 ultra so I upgraded. Hopefully in the future I will be able to fix the screen on my beloved s23 ultra but for now..  I have to try adapt to the S25 Ultra. I was looking on S26 Ultra but ohmygod it was €700 in price difference! No thank you!

So yeah, here’s why I have been quiet a bit.

Also I have been arguing with the school and internship about the times but sadly it didn’t work but M managed to fix his work schedules so I could attend the internship. First day starts tomorrow! So four weeks forward. Waking up 4.30 daily.. not looking forward to it.