Tag: family

Choose your battles.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Good morning, my beautiful people! I hope you all are doing well. I’m currently back home. Was supposed to get E to school, but he had tantrums outside, so he woke the neighbors, so they were looking through their blinds.

I finally managed to get us back home (tantrum for 40 minutes outside with no luck), so today he will be home from school. With lack of sleep and this morning, I can honestly say, I am tired.

Yes, I am keeping my life in the blog raw and authentic. I’m not going to sugarcoat the reality. I’m sharing my life because I know I have other autistic families who read the blog, and we know the struggles sometimes. Some days are good, and some days are a bit of a struggle. It’s the reality of a family with a person who has special needs.

So today will be a day to stay home. This has started to happen daily now, so I have notified the school what’s going on and that we will be at school when the situation is calm and better. They are ok with that. Sadly, today will be a stay-at-home day.

So this was my morning. How is your morning?

Choose your battles.

~ Unknown

No, I do not have pictures of the situation and what happened. My focus is to calm the situation, and taking photos/videos during a breakdown is nothing I do.

Reason for this morning’s meltdown: bus.My son loves busses and these mornings for the past few days has been very difficult.  He wants to go for a ride in the buses, but we don’t need to take the bus to the school. The situation escalates every time, but what can I do? All I can do is handle the situations by remaining calm, try to calm down the situations, and keep my son safe.

“Autism doesn’t come with an instruction guide. It comes with a family who will never give up.”

~ Kerry Magro

Helpful tips; How I Calm My Autistic Child Down

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Goodmorning all of you beautiful souls! I hope you all are doing good and that you have a calm and stress-free Sunday.

Today on my little agenda / planner it says self care, clean & pack son’s backpack for tomorrow. 

Sundays for me is home spa day. Facial masks, hair mask, deep deeeeeep cleaning of my skin etc. I will also maybe dye my eyebrows, now I have no eyebrows – haha!

I will also try to start planning weekly dinners and become more productive with my life and get myself out of my bad mental health. babysteps though!

I do not drink coffee so my Pepsi max has to act like coffee for these pictures.

Raw and authentic

I’m keeping my blog raw, nothing is perfect in life. Having a child with special needs (I dont know how parents with children who dont have special needs lives so this is just my experiences) can make daily life a challenge. Before it complains about how the floor looks like, let me explain.

Due to the fact that my son is non-verbal (can not talk), his way of communication is showing things and try to say words but enlarge the words etc with signs. Him not being able to speak and express his feelings, wants and needs completely like other can makes him frustrated and sometimes he has tantrums and breakdowns which is super hard on him. My focus is to calm the situation down and to keep him safe.

The rooms etc with cleaning will come afterwards when the situation that had occurred is calm.

Today, this morning, E had one small moment when he tried to show me what he wanted and got frustrated. That’s why you can see some stuff on the floor. He throws stuff to make himself heard and understood.

and no, we dont not live filthy, dirty or any of that. Temporarily we have messy with stuff on floors but like I said, when moments and situations are calm I clean it.

Right now, I’m sitting down to breathe. To collect myself from the moment that happened. This is why my agenda / planner says cleaning.

If the moment didn’t occur,  I wouldn’t need to clean.

Please don’t attack me / bash me/ insult me for how I handle things and how the living situations are temporarily when moments happen. My focus is to calm my child down and the whole situation.

How do I manage to calm E down when having tantrum/meltdowns?

Remain calm and I’m not gonna lie, sometimes it’s hard to stay calm and not stress out due to the neighbors but I manage to remain calm. Hugs, kisses, sitting down on the floor, safe hands works. Whisper in his ear that he is safe. That I understand, see and hear his feelings and that I am here with him.

Every parent handle situations differently,  I know that and this works for us. Keep E safe and protected is all I care of.

Like Daniel Tiger in Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood sings “Take a deep breathe and breathe out”.

I sing multiple times of the day to remind E to breathe. I only sing/say the part “take a deep breathe” and he continues with “and breathe out”.

If you have a child/ren, how do you handle situations? No judging, no shaming. Accepting and Respecting only.

Remember to take a deep breathe, remain calm and handle the situation with love and understanding.

Adventure plans? Phobias?

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Goodmorning / goodafternoon / good evening my beautiful sunflowers! I hope you all are doing well today! I’m fine, just tired. Had nightmare last night mixed with migraine.

The nightmare was about (this actually happened irl) the carlane we were in for 4 hours and what we saw when passing it. There was a massive accident that had happen and as we drove by it, we saw the front of the car to windshield was under a truck and beside that car was a body bag with a person in. So I had flashbacks to that. Scary situation but im glad E didn’t see it. I have actually never seen a body bag before irl.. And I have worked at hospital and seniors homes.. it was scary.

Anyway, enough about that flashback. We are currently on our way to do some adventure. We spoke about going to the Sweden’s “Golden Gate Bridge” but I dont know anymore. We’ll see what happens.

I have been to that bridge once in my life and I cried and had panic the whole way over. I am very scared and have phobias for bridges. How i got that phobia? When I was younger I saw a clip, I dont know if it was from a news station in America or someone had recorded it, of the Golden Gate Bridge (or maybe an other Bridge that looked similar) how the storm was making it swing back and forth and the road up and down. I think I was five when I saw that and that phobia has been stuck ever since. So going over bridges now and especially with my son with me, I have to stay calm even though I have panic inside of me.

Do you have any phobias?

So we’ll see how this goes if we go there. If we go there I’ll take pictures ofcourse. It’s very beautiful there. Nature, water and the bridge. Mind blowing how people can build something like that! I dont understand how to be honest but again, im not a person who works with that.

I will blog later. I’m gonna try become more active here.

Its June, I am ashamed and it’s soon time to go.

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why am I ashamed? because I have wanted to blog for a long long time but havent really had anything to blog about. My life has honestly been very down lately but I feel its getting a bit better.

I have started to “take care” of myself better, put myself first (well.. my son comes first but you get it). I have been distancing myself more from people due to have been surrounded by toxic people. Kinda detoxing from people so I can heal.

I even cut “friends” out from my life due to lies, scam etc. Scams? Lies? Yes, you read it right. Who I thought was my friend used me and manipulated me til I put my foot down and asked my best friend for help.

I even failed school due to my  son being sick so much so I missed out ~ ofcourse my son comes first! Don’t get me wrong ~ so I decided to stop attending or what to call, which means I failed school.

I have not picked up my cameras more than maybe twice since I was in Amsterdam. I lost the passion of using my cameras but have used my phone to take photos, which really havent been any “use” to show here on the blog nor Instagram.

I’ve stopped using social medias due to lost intests and feeling pressure to put on makeup, fix the esthetic feelings on photos etc just to please people. I was “like/following” hungry before but I realized .. whats the point? Why chase something that is no need when it comes to people who doesn’t care .. like genuinely cares about my content.. other than have a following of people who really actually care about my stuff  my photos, my thoughts etc. For me, that is more important. Having a connection with readers, followers etc.

So right now I’m focusing on myself while also trying to remember how to breathe and how to be alone instead of trying to be surrounded by people the whole time. The next two weeks will be a challenge for me. Switzerland , yes its time to go to Switzerland. I have honestly not been looking forward to it due to three reasons, 1. We are going with an other family that the husband/father I dislike.. like massively dislike. 2. Knowing the reality that im the one who’s gonna be the only parent on the trip while M will have fun (dont get me wrong, I love my son but sometimes I want to kinda.. walk around, breathe and just think by myself) 3. Switzerland is a very beautiful country from what I have googled and heard from people but its not really a country that “speaks” to me to come visit but I’m trying to think positive about it ~ first outside Sweden vacation with my son (even though the responsibilities will be 1000% on me) & new views to see & snap photos of ofcourse.

Today I have actually

✅️ emptied all the memory cards ✅️ Charged batteries to the cameras ✅️ Written a whole new list of our stuff to bring ✅️ Ordered stuff that is needed (medicines etc) ✅️ Packed down my camera gears

So now its only clothes, electronics etc that need to be packed down in the suitcase which I will do tomorrow while son is at school. Also a seperate bag for E’s stuff to have in car to entertain him when we arent at playgrounds on the road. I have also written a list of what to bring for E and the car ride . Yes it might sound ridiculous but I take precautions any time instead of his his tantrums (autistic & non verbal) and him being absolutely bored. Remind you that he is just seven years old so he ain’t getting electronics. What I have written on the list is just coloring pens, papers, toys, his stuffed animal, kickbike + helmet, football and few books. Something to keep him a bit occupied when not looking out through the windows which he loves when going on car rides.

Parents with children who travel , is there something I should think of?

This is the very first time we go outside Sweden and actually for a long car ride with E (son) so we dont really know but ofcourse im using my mama feelings but it feels like im missing something or somethings but dont know what.

IT’S FINALLY WEEKEND!

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Goodmorning everyone! I hope you all are doing good!

It is officially the weekend now! FINALLY! What’s your plans for the weekend?

I’m gonna study, go live on Tiktok (when E is sleeping. Never going live when he is up!) but mainly take care of my son who actually was burning hot yesterday and fell asleep at the kitchen table, so my husband and I managed to get him to bed and there he have been sleeping since 6pm til 7am. Today?? It’s like normal. Like nothing has happened with him. He is full off energy,  laughing etc. Normal temperature etc. I wonder what it was that got E to feel that bad. But I’m so glad that he is feeling better but 👀 I will watch him like a hawk 👀

I’m actually thinking of dyeing my hair tonight (if possible due to how my son is and how he sleeps – I don’t dye my hair when he is awake). I really want to go back to neonred hair but must keep it brown so my hair can rest. Luckily I don’t use hair dye with ammonia and all different kind of bad stuff in it and I love it!!

How are you today? 🥰

A happy little boy who finally can..

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.. ride his kickbike. The pure happiness when we told him that he now could ride on his kickbike because they have brushed the stones away.

We went to a location to let him roam freely on his kickbike ~ ofcourse we kept an eye on him. The laughter, the smiles, the focus and everything. Made my heart jump with joy.

His dad wanted to try the kickbike as well (middle picture) and first E let him but wooh, the speed he had to stop M (dad) from riding it. Lol! Hilarious!

We stopped by a store and bought ice cream as well.  It was a fun little family day for a while before M had to go to work for a second time that day.

ofcourse I blurry my son’s face due to privacy and respect for my son.

I can not wait to have many more family days like this in the future. I know now we gonna have soooo many when the spring is finally here and soon summer. We love going on car rides to see the nature, sit outside and have picnics etcetera. 

What is your favorite thing about Spring?

When The Flu Has Struck One Week Before…so Sad….

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Goodmorning everyone! I hope you all are doing good! The flu has struck me.. unfortunately.. It’s typical for me to get sick when I have something to look forward to (read below) but hopefully it gets better soon 🤞🏻

Today’s plans even though the energy is super low today is to do laundry and try tidy up here. Depending how much my body and head allows me.

I’ll be start blogging more (hopefully one post per day atleast) but next week for a few days I might not be able to because I’m going on an adventure (husband has a surprise for me.. All I know is that it’s an adventure..). I’m nervous but excited. So I really hope the flu goes away by then!

What has happened lately?

well I have been having meetings, worked on my mental health, tried to study but realized that studying home isn’t a possibility for me when son is home. E is sick. Had to pick him up yesterday from school so now he is home again. Cozy time! Haven’t had so many migraine attacks lately and hopefully it keeps that way!

Anyway, how are you? Would love some interactions. I will in a few open my laptop and continue answer comments ❤️

Visionboard for 2025

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Ofcourse health, relationships, friends and love is on my visionboard as well! I can’t wait to see what 2025 has for me!.

Do you have a visionboard?

Are they really allowed to do this?

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New week. New possibilities. New steps forward.

This weekend havent been si good to me. Removing more toxicness and negativity out of my life has really taken a toll on my mental health but hey, it might be worth it in the end? I don’t know.

Monday, November 4th, 2024. School. New classmates. Laughed at and massive feeling of disappointment.

Today started good in school but ended up me faking becoming sick so I could leave. First time I did this on this school. Why? A staff who helps students made fun of me and what I said. I got so mad I almost was about to explode but managed myself to stay calm and blame my migraine (I had migraine but is blamed that it became worse). I felt so disgusted, so disappointed, upset and really mad. I left the school so fast so I could cool off a bit away outside.

this happened infront of the two new classmates that started today!

We are grown people and they did this? What?! I can not believe it. and tomorrow it is school again.. hopefully i won’t see this person because iam not up for a confrontation to be honest.. not right now.

Are they staff who works with students (not a teacher) allowed to degrade a student like this? I think it calls degrade. I can be wrong, if so I apologize but I hope you get what I mean.

●●● Anyway, little rant about school today..

Tomorrow it’s Tuesday which means, school at the afternoon. Will probably bring my cameras with me so I can start learn the settings, tips and tricks again. Go for a walk and just be alone to breathe.

● This weekend havent been so good to me. Personally and mentally. Personally I can not talk about here but let me just say, that I have been hurt before by close people but this is in top 3 of the things the person has ever said to me. And that took a massive toll on my mental health.  I cried and was hysterical because I couldn’t believe my eyes (the person wrote this so I read, not heard it) and wow I have been a mess but i take it as a sign ~ if that’s how the person feel, they are not meant to be in mine nor my son’s life . it’s that simple.

● My sister and her daughter had to go to an other city by helicopter last night. I can not write details but let me just say that iam terrified and scared. Worried and I don’t know all the emotions. My baby niece A has severe epilepsy and it has become worse. She’s 4 years old!

● I have made a Facebook group (yesterday) if you would like to join to see my artworks. My photographies. I’m gonna expand my equipment with time and hopefully be able to take better pictures 🥰 can’t wait!

7 years ago ..

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Today is not a regular day because it is my child’s birthday! HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY!

Seven years ago I became a mom. Despite what doctors told me. They have always told me to give up on my biggest dream to become a mother. It would never happen due to my PCOS.

and seven years ago i gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. My little handsome man. My little man.

my angel. the love of my life. I can’t believe that I got the gift and blessing to become your mother.

a traumatic pregnancy and a more traumatic experience when giving birth, i will forever be thankful for what I, as a person and my mentally was able to do.

life sure tests us with your diagnosis but man I grow as a mother and as a person everyday thanks to you my love.

Happy Birthday E 🎂 🥳🎉