I did actually blog last Friday and wished you all happy Easter and showed photos from my day with family. But, it didn’t post.. it failed and when I was going to look and fix it so it would be published, it was gone.
Plus, my phone fell off a shelf when I was doing the dishes so it smashed onto a frying pan, in water, busted the display so it smashed the OLED panels on the display so I had to emergency empty the phone of medias I want to save ans pray to God that the phone will be with me til Friday when I hopefully get the new phone I just ordered.
I googled on how to get the green tint on screen gone and it says – due to it being a malfunction in the system and oled display panel, it can’t go away and they recommended me to empty the phone because when this happen, apparently a phone only survive a few days before the screen completely die.
And get it to a workshop to have the screen changed would cost me €400‐€600 .. and that is just the display.. My new phone i just bought cost me €1200.
Sure I actually love my Samsung S23 Ultra, I do but a new one cost as much as a S25 ultra so I upgraded. Hopefully in the future I will be able to fix the screen on my beloved s23 ultra but for now.. I have to try adapt to the S25 Ultra. I was looking on S26 Ultra but ohmygod it was €700 in price difference! No thank you!
So yeah, here’s why I have been quiet a bit.
Also I have been arguing with the school and internship about the times but sadly it didn’t work but M managed to fix his work schedules so I could attend the internship. First day starts tomorrow! So four weeks forward. Waking up 4.30 daily.. not looking forward to it.
First week of school for this semester and I have already smashed it! On a positive way.
Yes I cussed on the picture, therefor the blurred words. Sorry, but I am so happy!
I have been to school every day this week, and I am honestly proud of myself! Even today, with no sleep (when writing this post, I have been up for 30+ h. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to sleep.) but I smashed it.
This week we have had crafts on one class ~ make something (we had to think preschoolers) that they could tell us their feelings. Well, the class used papertowels rolls, some papers etc.. Me? I made an elephant in “3d”. First time I ever done one and honestly, I don’t like it. It’s not done yet though. It miss facial expressions etc.
I’m removing the black strings when they have helped me give shapes. And yes… It’s embarrassing, but hey, at least I did something else, and my teacher likes it. A lot. Ph, the clay thing next to it…I have also made that, but before holiday break. I didn’t have my tools, so it looks awful. Fun fact: I used to build and make a lot of things in clay and paint them. Roses, animals, statues, etc. I was so detailed on things, but sadly I lost interest in doing it, but I do kinda miss it.
Back to school week
Today I had an exam, and I smashed it. I got an A. 15 out of 17. One box was missed, so if I had answered that one (and not missed it), I would have had 16 out of 17 points instead. But it’s ok. I’m pretty ok with today’s result.
I have also sent assignments/essays to my teacher, so I’m actually a bit ahead of the class. Let’s hope that continues.
Slayed two makeup looks this week!
I am actually shocked! I have had two makeup looks in school this week, and I am so happy and proud of myself that I had that energy to do it. Making myself feel a little bit more alive when out in public. Lol! I will show pictures later, in an other post though
No sleep, yeah… I’m a walking zombie at the moment.
I couldn’t sleep. I had my usual things (sleeping pills, and no, I’m not ashamed of admitting that). After all, I’m keeping the blog raw and authentic, but they didn’t work. Why? I don’t know. So while I was awake, I studied, watched YouTube, did makeup, packed a bag, etc. Note that I was home alone, so I didn’t wake anyone up.
I pray to God I will be able to sleep tonight. I am so tired, but my brain is in full speed. Eyes are heavy, body aching. Feels like my body is about to collapse so let’s pray and hope that I will fall asleep tonight.
This weekend will test me if I don’t get any sleep. Studies, laundry, cleaning, cooking, household stuff, son being home (pray that he will be in good mood this weekend) and save the last makeup I have.
The makeup > E has currently ruined / destroyed a massive eyeshadow palette with neon colors that I finally started to use again. It makes me sad but, I’m not mad at him. Sure im said about my palette but im not mad. He is into makeup and that makes me happy, but I do wish he could stop use mine and use his own that I have for him. Yes. I have given my son eyeshadow palette of his own. One from my collection that I haven’t used. Daddy doesn’t approve but hey, im not judging and iam supporting my son to try new things so let’s go!
I’m actually going to wrap this post up for now, but I will be back soon. Much love, my beautiful souls 🤍
The focus, the stress and the chaos has been real! So glad it’s over for a little bit now.
Hello, my beautiful people! I apologize for not blogging this year (yet), but I have been stressed like a maniac!
Remember when I told you guys that my mental health isn’t so good and that it has been declining? Still low at the moment, but between Christmas and this last Saturday (January 3rd) I have been maniacally stressing through assignments, sending them in, correcting them, chatting with teachers about grades, school, etc. Last night I made, hopefully, the last piece for this semester.
Grades will be decided on January 8, and my next semester starts on January 12th, so I am back to school soon! Crazy!
Let’s appriciate the fact that I have gotten some energy back so I could do some makeup again 🙌🏻
I know that one course with the awful teacher who name-called me and disrespected me a lot this semester is done 🙌🏻 I passed it! Thank God.
Long story short, I passed Kost & Hälsa (Food & Health). I don’t know about the rest, but I had 50 assignments to send in before January 1st. Due to my mental health, I couldn’t make them earlier, but in one week, I made them all. The focus, the discipline, and the live chats I was on (TikTok), talking with friends, made me continue. I finished them! Woho!
So for this semester, I made a promise to myself to never let this happen again! So pray for me and my mental health.
Two more semesters and I a m d o n e finally! I have also made a decision to take a break from school (I have been studying nonstop for ten years) to focus on myself and to work.
So yeah, that has been my reality for the past… weeks? But here I am.
Thank you everyone for being a part of my family! I am truly thankful for each and every one of you 🤍 I apologize for not being do active in the blog due to my mental health but I will try (can’t promise) to be more active here in the blog.
This year has have both ups and downs , sadly most downs. I really hope that 2026 will be better to me and my mental health.
2025 Positive
Amsterdam, January
Tokio Hotel concert, March
Italy, July
Norrtälje, September
Met Michaela & Helle (after 8 years)[Tokio Hotel fan] (Michaela I met in September, Helle I met in March and went to the concert together)
My forever new years kiss, valentine and forever my greatest love 🤍
This year I have watched my son grow much. Both as a person, as my son and as a small man. He has participated in graduations in school, participated in performance shows, gotten best “grades” in school. He is more brave now and he is just wonderful.
This year E has started to communicate so much more. He communicates with signs and simple words. He has also started to learn English, speaking English, counting etc. It is a super big change compared to last year and I am so shocked, so happy and so proud.
This year I have been abroad twice. Once in Amsterdam, The Netherlands and one time in Italy. Amsterdam I went with M but Italy I went by myself.
Amsterdam, January 2025.
Amsterdam, January
Burano, July [Italy]
Venice/Venezia, Italy, July.
I had always wanted to go to Murano & Burano in Italy. To see the colorful houses, the beauty etc. The day before I went back to Sweden, I finally went there. I didn’t know how to get there and it was so confusing but I managed it! Woho.
Norrtälje, September
Norrtälje, Sweden. First time I met my beautiful friend Michaela after five months chatting online. We connected when I commented on her tiktok and boom. instant friendship. Read all about my weekend in Norrtälje here. Many ups but soooo many downs.
Photography ~ bringing my cameras out.
This year, I found a bit more passion of taking pictures than I had earlier. Unfortunately it went away when I started to decline more in mental health so my goal is to start again.
backlit autumn leaf sunlight
2026 Goals
Better mental health (hard work)
Finish school & education
Continue my weightloss journey [well start more strictly]
Clean toxic stuff and people out of my life
Focus on myself
Blog & Instagram better
Travels [Lisabon, Cyprus & maybe Santorini]
Make more music [we’ll see]
Sure, some might seem impossible, but I will try to work hard. I’m not going to say, “OH! Yeah! 2026 will be MY year.” No, I said that about 2025, and here we are, haha!
I wish you all a wonderful and beautiful 2026! With all luck, love, power, strength and wealth ✨️
I hope you all had an wonderful Christmas- or if you celebrate it today, have a wonderful Christmas!
In Sweden we celebrate Christmas on December 24th. I dont know why some countries celebrates on 24th (Scandinavia and some part of Europe I think) and some on the 25th.
The gingerbread cookie… Will it make me nice or not? Do I get presents/gifts next year or coal from Santa?
Our Christmas has been been a rollercoaster. It has been both good but also overstimulated for E. Luckily it was just the three of us – if we were more, it would end bad.
Some part of the Christmas dinner. Yes, I had been eating the saffron cake during the day due to me being in front of/over the stove pretty much all day and I hadn’t had time to eat. 😅
This year we tried something “new,” and it was fried raw potatoes instead of having regular potatoes. Honestly, not bad, but it made me realize that I’m tired of fried raw potatoes—we have eaten that a lot lately.
It looks way more than it really is on the plate. I had to go close to get pictures of it all. Lol!
Raw fried potatoes, ham, meatballs, sausage (prinskorv in Swedish > prince sausage), my homemade saffron cake, liver pate and beetroot salad. Delicious!
We also had spareribs with honey & ginger glaze, but I didn’t like that.
E tried mustard for the first time last night and he likes it! Ew in my opinion.
Fun fact: I use mustard on the ham before I put it in the oven, and when M and I went Christmas food shopping, I grabbed a bottle of mustard—just to use it for the ham—and I said, “Having this big bottle will be unnecessary because we use it one time a year and later have it in the fridge. “None of us eat mustard,“ but lo and behold, E eats it. So now the mustard will come to use and not be all the way in the back of the fridge.
Now when Christmas if officially over in my household, everything with decorations, tree etc will be packed, boxed and off to the storage room again til next year.
The reason why so fastis that I really hate Christmas. I haven’t had a good childhood/adulthood when it comes to Christmas, so if it was up to me, I would not put up a Christmas tree, decorations, etc., but I do it for E because I refuse to let him have the same bad childhood on Christmas as I did. Normally I pack down everything on the 24th when E has fallen asleep for the day/night, but this year I had no energy after having been in the kitchen all day, plus cleaning and trying to study/send in essays at the same time, but this weekend it will be removed when E is not home.
Anyway, enough about the bleh moments! I’m currently watching my son playing with the toys he got, and hearing him laugh and seeing him smile is worth everything.
I took pictures of him opening presents, etc., but I don’t want to show them here, but I will share one toy I bought him that he is obsessed over.
It’s supposed to be an advent calendar with 24 different boxes for him to open one per day but we all know that wouldn’t work so we decided to give him as a present instead.
This truck with all the cars is his new obsession. He also got a radio remote car, a new garbage truck (his old one is in bad shape and he is super obsessed with it), a new backpack and some more I can’t remember right now.
Successful Christmas for E. I got my Christmas food, andthat’s all that matters.
Merry Christmas my beautiful and wonderful friends 🩷🎄
Oh, I have forgotten to show you guys! Proud mama bear moment!
If you guys remember this post [here] my son now officially a big boy!
Earlier he had a bed that we’ve been renting from the hospital (in the post), and my best friend/godmother to E said it looked like a giant crib (those beds for babies), and I never thought of that before, but after she said that, I couldn’t unsee it.
The bed that we have had since he was .. three years old I think. We rented it due to E being an run awayer in the middle of the night. One time I found him (this was before this bed) at the front door in my apartment complex.. in the middle of the night. Yes I had locked the door.
I spoke with the CPS about the bed (due to safety reasons, etc.) together with the hospital, and I got approved. Sure, I didn’t need to talk to them, but due to me having a child with special needs… People don’t understand how it is, so yeah. I have been involved with them ever since so I figured out it would be better to have a true, straight communication with them. Anyway, they said yes, so we ordered it. After having gotten the bed, E felt so safe. He had his own place. I made it into a fort sometimes so he could have his own little “house” to be in, and he loved it.
Note this this bed also had a beamer you could have over the closed doors (kinda lock him in) and that was approved as well. Yes I am keeping my blog raw and authentic so the truth is being told .
Fast forward to now … He wasn’t home, and the bed was waiting to get picked up! So I unscrewed the whole entire bed and had M help me carry it down to the basement. It stood in the basement until the guys from the hospital-special-team-helping-thing came and picked it up. The past weekend (12th & 13th of December) we worked hard to get every piece together.
This Wednesday (17th) E came home and he has been sleeping in it every night. I am so proud of him.
The boy who was super happy and excited. Jumped right into bed after seeing it and was ready to go to sleep. Giving goodnight kisses and saying goodnight.. at 5pm.. That’s how excited he got.
So cute but yeah. He is now a big boy and a big boy need a big boy bed.
The green alien is from Ikea and the gnome / Santa is from Jysk – an scandinavian home/sleeping department store or what to call it.
I do not know why all the text is in the caption of the media/pictures. I tried to fix it, but it doesn’t work, so I’m going to leave it like it is.
the hustle. the stress. the panic. the warnings. It made my head go loco.
But guess who managed to fix it? I DID!!!! I got a warning from my teacher that I was about to fail some classes, and this is the last week I have to do the last of the assignments. I have been sitting for several days for HOURS and just worked my butt off and sent them in. I now “only” have five left plus a presentation on Monday, and after that I am done for this first semester!
So I am extremely happy and actually surprised, plus in shock of myself. One week and I have sent in… I don’t know how many assignments. Is that my ADHD working? Better under pressure? I have no idea, but I can honestly say—next semester and the last one, I do NOT want to do this again!
So because of this, my head is now all loco! Hopefully I can take a small break this weekend and get some rest for my head but if I know myself.. I won’t.
This year my mental health has really declined so much, but I’m hopeful that next year will be a better year. I started with a new medicine a week ago for my ADHD (I requested it myself), and it has actually helped me get a bit more focus. Sure, I’m still tired, so I also got new sleeping pills that knock me completely out. So I haven’t taken them every day—two pills since last week. I will only take it when E is not home and I have nothing important the day after. Mama needs her sleep! That’s why I’m hopeful! Hopefully it will help me get better.
I have even started to do some makeup which has been superloooong time ago. Last Monday (15th) I had red eyelook and visited my last internship location before school. Let me tell you guys, the look on my kids / students. Oh my. They complimented me so much and that actually made me happy so I have been using makeup twice this week.
So I am a bit hopeful about 2026. I’m working hard to become myself. The bubbly, happy, laughing, goofy Emma.
Thank you everyone for reading. 🤍 As you know, my head is all messed up now, so I apologize that I haven’t answered any comments yet. I will when my head allows me. Even writing this post takes energy. Plus I have been at an education presentation today, and I actually fell asleep for a few seconds, so today is a tired day for me.
Nope. My life is actually worse. Well not life, but my mental health is. There for I have been off so much in the blog but im working hard on returning to myself. To be the happy, bubbly, smiling, laughing Emma again.
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
I have a super hard time standing in front of people, talking or singing, but I have actually done both. Not standing talking in front of a huge crowd but singing. Oh lord. That was terrifying.
I grew up singing in choir and we had “concerts” a lot so I have actually been singing head lead or what it calls. I have been singing solo.
Fun fact In high-school I studied music (due to I loved singing) and all my teachers said if i stopped smoking (yes I have been smoking for years and years, I would become an opera singer. Dumb as I was kept going on smoking and now I sound like a.. I dont know. it ain’t beautiful. I can not take those super high notes anymore which actually makes me super sad. I regret smoking.
So yeah, I have preformed . Both music, theater and speeches
