Tag: mental health

Well, this is scary.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆4 Comments

Eye vision changed due to the antidepressant medicine. I told my doctor and nurse I had to immediately stop.

The worst part is, due to me noticing that my eyesight had changed all of a sudden, I made an appointment with an eye doctor and bought a brand-new pair of glasses. They cost me €300, and when I picked them up… I couldn’t see in them.

I bought those kinds of glasses so I can use them for near- and long-sightedness, or whatever it’s called. I could only sort of see at short sight… not long. So the staff who were handling the glasses told me to wear them daily for two weeks. If I still couldn’t see, I would come back.

They are big, and honestly, they are so ugly I had to get them. Yes, they are really shaped like this. Not round like a circle, and that’s one reason why I had to have them.

The shape and the size. I hate seeing the frame when I wear glasses. Sure, I still see the frame, but it’s not that much, so it doesn’t bother me, honestly.

I hope my eyes change so I can see correctly in them. I pray to God. Or else I have to pay even more money to get the glasses changed in the frame, and I have no desire to do that.

It’s scary how much my eyes have changed in numbers of my vision. I had 1.25 in my left eye, and now I only have 0.75. That’s crazy! On shorter time than a month! It’s scary, and I’m terrified!

Back to the doctor and nurse … I went to an emergency appointment with the doctor last Thursday (12th), and I requested to have the nurse with me due to me not understanding the doctor so well due to language barriers.

They told me to immediately stop with the medicine, and luckily I hadn’t taken any that day. They gave me a new medicine that I’m trying out now, so let’s see how this one works.

I honestly feel a little bit better in my mental health but way far from being 100% or atleast close to it. I am more happy now (ish) and I have started with something I can not write about here.. not yet. so its a secret. But I will tell you guys with time so stay tuned 🤫🤭 

Much love my beautiful souls and thank you for coming back here, commenting and sharing love ❤️

Healing is active courage—showing up for yourself even when no one is clapping.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about returning to who you were before the world taught you to abandon yourself.

I am healing at a pace my nervous system can trust. I refuse to rush what took years to survive.

Working on myself both mentally and spiritually is the best decision I have taken. Healing myself from childhood traumas and sorrow, and for hurting myself for years, takes time. 

I’m still alive! I have been physically exhausted and missed school this week’s Tuesday, but I’m now on my way to a city for a dentist appointment for E. A child dentist (pedodontist) who specializes in special needs kids. 

I prefer sleeping, but the adult must adulting today. Lol!

Return.. to the… oh no

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Preparing mentally for the return to school.

I know I have been quiet but honestly, my mental is getting prepared (plus recharged) to go back to school with over 3k kids. 😬

Hello, my beautiful souls! 🩷 I hope you all are doing well! I haven’t blogged since January 5th, I know, but I have been trying to get as much rest as I could before school starts tomorrow. I was so stressed and had so much panic, etc., about me sending the assignments in before the deadline, so I crashed after. Mentally, my entire body and brain got drained of so much energy.

— ADHD —

I have fallen asleep daily during the daytime, and I have also, in between this, started with new medication. I’m trying ADHD medicine again (I have not had medicines for ADHD since I was 20). I tried once, but wow… bad), and that one makes me tired as well.

— Makeup —

Pink & Blue. Yes, I walked outside with these looks. On the blue look I have added blue eyeshadow on the eyebrows as well (after taken the pics). 

I have had some energy twice so far that I have actually done makeup. If you know me, I’m obsessed with makeup and love to do makeup looks, but you know… THAT happened, but I’m slowly getting back to it. I mean, I have done it twice already! The last time before these two I did makeup was in September, and before that, March. So going from having makeup daily to having it once in a while is a big change.

One of my goals for 2026 (I posted it earlier, but this is just a reminder to myself) is to try to get back to doing makeup and to try to have energy to do the things I love, such as makeup, photography, blogging, and going for walks. I miss being out in nature. Of course, with my camera in one hand and a stick to remove branches, etc., with the other hand.

— WRONG BROWN! —

Since I go back to school tomorrow (read, +3k students), I wanted to dye my hair. New semester, new hair. Honestly, I wanted to dye it red, but to let my hair rest, I did brown. It doesn’t make me dye my hair often if I have brown compared to when I have red. 😬 When I have red hair, I dye it 3-5 times a week—yes, you read that right!!! So imagine how ruined my hair is. Everything to just keep my bright neon red hair going.

I tried to make the light “normal,” but I took these in the bathroom, and it has yellow lights, so I apologize for that. // ADHD & HAIR DYE—total disaster / No, I didn’t put a stamp on these.

I thought I bought just a regular brown hair dye and after looking in the mirror, it was super super dark! Yes I took selfie with the cardboard box but I didn’t look at the number 😬 I had taken dark brown and it looks almost black on me. Oh my.

So we’ll see how it looks tomorrow when I get ready for school. I always let my hair air dry, so I don’t know how the color really is until tomorrow 😅 it dries super slow. 

— Wish me luck —

I’m both excited and mostly anxious about going back to school. I don’t know if I passed the classes last semester or not. Honestly, I don’t feel motivated to go back, but I refuse to quit now.

I hope you all have a wonderful week 🩷🩷🩷

Chaotic start of 2026

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment
The focus, the stress and the chaos has been real! So glad it’s over for a little bit now.

Hello, my beautiful people! I apologize for not blogging this year (yet), but I have been stressed like a maniac!

Remember when I told you guys that my mental health isn’t so good and that it has been declining?  Still low at the moment, but between Christmas and this last Saturday (January 3rd) I have been maniacally stressing through assignments, sending them in, correcting them, chatting with teachers about grades, school, etc.  Last night I made, hopefully, the last piece for this semester. 

Grades will be decided on January 8, and my next semester starts on January 12th, so I am back to school soon! Crazy!

Let’s appriciate the fact that I have gotten some energy back so I could do some makeup again 🙌🏻

I know that one course with the awful teacher who name-called me and disrespected me a lot this semester is done 🙌🏻 I passed it! Thank God.

Long story short, I passed Kost & Hälsa (Food & Health). I don’t know about the rest, but I had 50 assignments to send in before January 1st. Due to my mental health, I couldn’t make them earlier, but in one week, I made them all. The focus, the discipline, and the live chats I was on (TikTok), talking with friends, made me continue. I finished them! Woho!

So for this semester, I made a promise to myself to never let this happen again! So pray for me and my mental health. 

Two more semesters and I a m d o n e finally! I have also made a decision to take a break from school (I have been studying nonstop for ten years) to focus on myself and to work.

So yeah, that has been my reality for the past… weeks? But here I am.

Panic, but I think I made it, but it made my head go loco.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment
the hustle. the stress. the panic. the warnings. It made my head go loco.

But guess who managed to fix it? I DID!!!! I got a warning from my teacher that I was about to fail some classes, and this is the last week I have to do the last of the assignments. I have been sitting for several days for HOURS and just worked my butt off and sent them in. I now “only” have five left plus a presentation on Monday, and after that I am done for this first semester! 

So I am extremely happy and actually surprised, plus in shock of myself. One week and I have sent in… I don’t know how many assignments. Is that my ADHD working? Better under pressure? I have no idea, but I can honestly say—next semester and the last one, I do NOT want to do this again!

So because of this, my head is now all loco! Hopefully I can take a small break this weekend and get some rest for my head but if I know myself.. I won’t. 

This year my mental health has really declined so much, but I’m hopeful that next year will be a better year. I started with a new medicine a week ago for my ADHD (I requested it myself), and it has actually helped me get a bit more focus. Sure, I’m still tired, so I also got new sleeping pills that knock me completely out. So I haven’t taken them every day—two pills since last week. I will only take it when E is not home and I have nothing important the day after. Mama needs her sleep! That’s why I’m hopeful! Hopefully it will help me get better.

I have even started to do some makeup which has been superloooong time ago. Last Monday (15th) I had red eyelook and visited my last internship location before school. Let me tell you guys, the look on my kids / students. Oh my. They complimented me so much and that actually made me happy so I have been using makeup twice this week.

So I am a bit hopeful about 2026. I’m working hard to become myself. The bubbly, happy, laughing, goofy Emma.

Thank you everyone for reading. 🤍 As you know, my head is all messed up now, so I apologize that I haven’t answered any comments yet. I will when my head allows me. Even writing this post takes energy. Plus I have been at an education presentation today, and I actually fell asleep for a few seconds, so today is a tired day for me.

Its June, I am ashamed and it’s soon time to go.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

why am I ashamed? because I have wanted to blog for a long long time but havent really had anything to blog about. My life has honestly been very down lately but I feel its getting a bit better.

I have started to “take care” of myself better, put myself first (well.. my son comes first but you get it). I have been distancing myself more from people due to have been surrounded by toxic people. Kinda detoxing from people so I can heal.

I even cut “friends” out from my life due to lies, scam etc. Scams? Lies? Yes, you read it right. Who I thought was my friend used me and manipulated me til I put my foot down and asked my best friend for help.

I even failed school due to my  son being sick so much so I missed out ~ ofcourse my son comes first! Don’t get me wrong ~ so I decided to stop attending or what to call, which means I failed school.

I have not picked up my cameras more than maybe twice since I was in Amsterdam. I lost the passion of using my cameras but have used my phone to take photos, which really havent been any “use” to show here on the blog nor Instagram.

I’ve stopped using social medias due to lost intests and feeling pressure to put on makeup, fix the esthetic feelings on photos etc just to please people. I was “like/following” hungry before but I realized .. whats the point? Why chase something that is no need when it comes to people who doesn’t care .. like genuinely cares about my content.. other than have a following of people who really actually care about my stuff  my photos, my thoughts etc. For me, that is more important. Having a connection with readers, followers etc.

So right now I’m focusing on myself while also trying to remember how to breathe and how to be alone instead of trying to be surrounded by people the whole time. The next two weeks will be a challenge for me. Switzerland , yes its time to go to Switzerland. I have honestly not been looking forward to it due to three reasons, 1. We are going with an other family that the husband/father I dislike.. like massively dislike. 2. Knowing the reality that im the one who’s gonna be the only parent on the trip while M will have fun (dont get me wrong, I love my son but sometimes I want to kinda.. walk around, breathe and just think by myself) 3. Switzerland is a very beautiful country from what I have googled and heard from people but its not really a country that “speaks” to me to come visit but I’m trying to think positive about it ~ first outside Sweden vacation with my son (even though the responsibilities will be 1000% on me) & new views to see & snap photos of ofcourse.

Today I have actually

✅️ emptied all the memory cards ✅️ Charged batteries to the cameras ✅️ Written a whole new list of our stuff to bring ✅️ Ordered stuff that is needed (medicines etc) ✅️ Packed down my camera gears

So now its only clothes, electronics etc that need to be packed down in the suitcase which I will do tomorrow while son is at school. Also a seperate bag for E’s stuff to have in car to entertain him when we arent at playgrounds on the road. I have also written a list of what to bring for E and the car ride . Yes it might sound ridiculous but I take precautions any time instead of his his tantrums (autistic & non verbal) and him being absolutely bored. Remind you that he is just seven years old so he ain’t getting electronics. What I have written on the list is just coloring pens, papers, toys, his stuffed animal, kickbike + helmet, football and few books. Something to keep him a bit occupied when not looking out through the windows which he loves when going on car rides.

Parents with children who travel , is there something I should think of?

This is the very first time we go outside Sweden and actually for a long car ride with E (son) so we dont really know but ofcourse im using my mama feelings but it feels like im missing something or somethings but dont know what.

Spring Mood and mental health.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

How are you guys? Happy Easter! I know I’m late but we still celebrate Easter in Sweden. Well we don’t celebrate it but many swedes do. Honestly I don’t know how to celebrate Easter except go out and “trick or treat” as you do on Halloween but instead saying “trick or treat” you say “Happy Easter” and receive candy or money. Weird for me and no I’m not taking my son out doing that.

Anyway, let’s continue.

It is official.. Spring is here in Sweden!! The other day as I walked to the bus from school, a little small ladybug flew and sat on my shirt. I noticed it when I was standing at the busstop.

one little bug can make a person happy. It’s officially spring and summer is on its way!  So hard to believe it though. Long cold, freezing cold winter is finally over for this time.

I cant wait to the sun, warmth, being able to sunbathing, go for long long walks again. Such a motivation.

I also feel that my mental health is getting a bit better. It is still there but a lot better. Working hard towards recovery is a long way but I have managed to move a few steps forward which makes me so happy. Having bad days is normal though for people and I still have them but I think I’m out of the deepest funk that I have been in. Woho.

Goals for the Spring season; Get better mentally • try lose some weight • work hard in school even though I know im gonna fail this semester but atleast I’m trying • try to become the Emma I use to be ●● oh, start planning for the vacation! So much to plan when traveling with an autistic child.

Do you have any plans for the Spring season?

First day of 2025 and this is how I hope my year goes

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆4 Comments

Happy New Year.all you beautiful souls! I wish you all a year of good health, love, happiness and positive vibes.

I have already posted a vision board for my 2025 but since I made that one I have really been thinking of how I hope and wish my 2025 goes go.

This year I will start take care of myself better ~ both mentally, physically and spiritually.  I feel that 2024 has really been bad for me personally so this year I will work hard to take care of myself.

I will start with my weightloss journey again. You all know I was maniac going to the gym last summer and this year I’ll go to the gym more ~ atleast 2 times a week. Between that I will go on walks (photowalks as well)

Try get out of my comfort zone, try new things, change my appearance (hair etc) ~ just to try something new.

Travel to new places and explore new locations is something I really hope will happen. A mini vacation even if it is just a weekend or 24h cruise.

I will continue to study, maybe start a new education this fall if the school have it. Some step closer to my preschool teacher education

Just a few things I have been thinking of. It will probably be added more on the list but that is OK. Im just gonna try working with all these.

Do you have any goals and plans for this year?

Mental health & break

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Good afternoon my little butterflies! or should Istart call you my little ghosts like I did on my other blog. Ghosts and pumpkins.. Because I love Halloween. Lol! Who knows..

I apologize that yesterday I took a day off from everything and did not blog, my mental health were low and my brain was not kind to me. So I pretty much just went to school and dropped off my son’s bag before I went to school. A bit stressful to be honest. . Afterwards I just had a quiet moment alone, scrolling and watching youtube. I needed that to be honest but now I am here!!

TODAY I have been to school as usual and right now I’m sitting at the café writing this and charging the pad.. That word is so weird for me. LOL! Oh well..

FUN THOUGH RIGHT NOW: I kinda feel like a real blogger when I either have my tab or laptop with me. In Sweden the top bloggers always had a tiny laptop with them where ever they went, just to be able to write blogposts and now Iam sitting here at the café writing this while drinking Pepsi Max and having a bun. My breakfast/lunch. Pretty amusing thought. Downside is that the first keyboard I owned to this tab has its own life and freeze letters so it adds so many I have to delete them to be able to continue write. Oh well.

How is your day? The sun is shining but it is really cold outside here. It’s not really summer weather.

I have taken a lot of photos I thought of sharing here in the blog. Autum/fall kind of pictures. But I don’t know If you wanna see that. LOL.

Super excited to tell you what the niche is

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆2 Comments

I saw a question that made me think really hard.. Why you chose your blogging niche? well to be honest, I have been blogging for many years, different blogs, different names etc and  I have been all over. Blog chaos, no red thread to follow etc. Which I might struggle with on this blog as well (atleast I struggle with my bad grammar – I’m sorry!) but why did I really picked my niche?

(cartoon filter on)

well to be honest lifestyle suits me best because I wanna have a place where I can share my experience, news (good and bad) and have just a place to write on. Lifestyle for me is huge in the category but the best part you do not need one special niche. I love photography but I also love beauty and skincare and having lifestyle as a niche I will be able to post that instead of just focusing on ONE TOPIC. Now I will not have many topics in this blog. Maybe 4 or 5. lifestyle ~ (and daily life) photography, parenting (autism), beauty/skincare, mental health and inspirational posts.

For me important subjects are important to share  such as raising awareness about mental health, bullying and autism . How to help, work and go through it. In today’s society it’s (at least where I live) a taboo to talk about these things and I have been through shit tons of things so I know a lot.

Photography ~ share photographs I’ve taken, share info and try keep my spirit up for photography (as you might have notice I always have at lease one photo on each post. taken by me or borrowed) . Share for my adventures, fun moments etc.

Parenting ~ As you know, I’m a mother to a boy named E who has a severe case of Autism. Autism level 3 and is non verbal. // I will share his progress, development and steps forward to the future. Not to seek attention or what so ever but to just remember the moments.

Beauty / Skincare ~ my Instagram has a lot of posts of beauty & skincare but in here I will just include some looks when I wear, information etc. Updates on beauty / skincare part will be on instagram, just like some lifestyle (will update LS on here)

Inspirational posts ~ Everyone need to motivation and inspiration in their life and iam here to share both quotes etc I have written myself and those I found online.

so now you all know why I picked my blogging niche(sorta know. it’s hard to explain). What is your blog niche?