Tag: adhd

Panic, but I think I made it, but it made my head go loco.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment
the hustle. the stress. the panic. the warnings. It made my head go loco.

But guess who managed to fix it? I DID!!!! I got a warning from my teacher that I was about to fail some classes, and this is the last week I have to do the last of the assignments. I have been sitting for several days for HOURS and just worked my butt off and sent them in. I now “only” have five left plus a presentation on Monday, and after that I am done for this first semester! 

So I am extremely happy and actually surprised, plus in shock of myself. One week and I have sent in… I don’t know how many assignments. Is that my ADHD working? Better under pressure? I have no idea, but I can honestly say—next semester and the last one, I do NOT want to do this again!

So because of this, my head is now all loco! Hopefully I can take a small break this weekend and get some rest for my head but if I know myself.. I won’t. 

This year my mental health has really declined so much, but I’m hopeful that next year will be a better year. I started with a new medicine a week ago for my ADHD (I requested it myself), and it has actually helped me get a bit more focus. Sure, I’m still tired, so I also got new sleeping pills that knock me completely out. So I haven’t taken them every day—two pills since last week. I will only take it when E is not home and I have nothing important the day after. Mama needs her sleep! That’s why I’m hopeful! Hopefully it will help me get better.

I have even started to do some makeup which has been superloooong time ago. Last Monday (15th) I had red eyelook and visited my last internship location before school. Let me tell you guys, the look on my kids / students. Oh my. They complimented me so much and that actually made me happy so I have been using makeup twice this week.

So I am a bit hopeful about 2026. I’m working hard to become myself. The bubbly, happy, laughing, goofy Emma.

Thank you everyone for reading. 🤍 As you know, my head is all messed up now, so I apologize that I haven’t answered any comments yet. I will when my head allows me. Even writing this post takes energy. Plus I have been at an education presentation today, and I actually fell asleep for a few seconds, so today is a tired day for me.

Stress, Coffee and Performance

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Today is a coffee day! Stress, chaos, brain disconnected and a proud moment.

Goodmorning my

beautiful souls 🩷

As you have read above, today / this morning havent been a good morning except watching my son preform in school (a tradition) now when it was Lucia last Saturday (13th December). He did so good! I had to cover my face though so I had like a burka (sorry! No disrespect!) so only my eyes was showing so I could watch him.

If he would have seen me, he would have run to me instead of being with the kids on the “stage” preforming. He did so good. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take pictures during the performance so this picture below is taken before it started.

Advent 🕯

When the performance was at the end, they put music on loud so everyone including the audience (the parents) could join and dance with everyone and that’s when it became too much for E. He started to cover his ears, cry and have a meltdown so I removed my jacket from my face so he saw me and I went over to him. He cried so much. I was praising E so much, telling him that he was so good and how proud me and his dad is.

We left instead of joining them for fika (a must in Sweden – cookies and beverages)  so E wouldn’t get all worked up and refusing to stay in school. So a few hugs and kisses and the teacher walked away with him.

Now to the chaos part

I AM SO CLUMPSY! To enter the school we need a passing card and I remembered i forgot mine at home in all stress that happened this morning to go in time so we wouldn’t miss E’s performance.

So M dropped me off at the bus, I went home again to get it, repacked my bag for school, and quickly changed outfits. I don’t want to go to school with a dress and toooooo much showing. I noticed that when I came home! Ohmygod! Fortunately I had covered my body so it wasn’t showing for anyone.

Now it’s a coffee morning!

Due to all the stress, chaos etc I felt it was time for ice coffee and luckily I have many in cans so I dumped two cans in my mug. I havent had these for a long time so I was hesitant first but after first sip it was like angels sang in my ears.

Coffee makes me tired so I can calm down a bit. ADHD and caffeine is a good combo if you wanna get tired and calm down.

Now I am on my way to school- I will be approximately 2h and 20minutes late. But hey, i notified my teacher last night that I will be late and I messaged her explaining what was going on so she told me to take it easy and no stress. That felt so good. But unfortunately I have missed a lot but what to do? Today it was about my son and unfortunately this happened.

I will blog later today—first school thought. Home and study, but I will fix it. I have wanted to blog so many times, but due to me being so tired and barely having anything happen, I didn’t, but now I’m going to get back again to the blogging. I will also answer your comments! I see you 🩷

Currently playing in my ears; Cher – Stronger

I mean, how fitting isn’t that? I have became obsessed with one song with Cher!

It is sooooo good!! I listen to it on repeat!

Failing and he is officially a big boy

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Having time alone for yourself is a gift I wish I could have more often.

The first semester of this year and education is coming to an end. Finally. This semester has not been a good one for me (body crash down, migraines, tiredness, etc.), so I hope the next semester will be better and more on my side.

The teacher has made our schedule into two subjects for 11 weeks, and after those weeks, we have the rest of the subjects for another 11 weeks. This put a stress on me honestly. When I studied last year, the courses I had were on 10 weeks, and that gave me so much stress, so I told my teacher about this and that I might ask for an extension of the courses. I would rather do 5 courses in a whole semester than 11 weeks of two and 11 weeks of the rest.

keeping it real. My gray hair is waving hello to everyone.

My diet has failed miserably.  The 16:8 was no bueno for my diabetes, and I have noticed that I get hungry after, like, 3 or 4 hours after dinner, so I must eat—or else I can’t sleep for the night. 

The swimming as I planned for exercise is a flop. The swimming hall is not open when I have no school. The only time they have exercise swimming is two days a week between 6 and 8 am. Like, excuse me?? Who is up and ready at that time? Well, I’m up, but I am definitely not ready for anything at that time. 

So I have to look into something else. It’s truly a bummer because I had prepared myself mentally to actually get into the waters with people looking, etc. It’s scary.

Sadly I have gained weight, which is upsetting for me. Due to me not feeling well but having tried to eat good, etc.—the shit I eat that says it’s healthy is actually not! 

For example, I eat Turkish yogurt, natural with 91% whole grain cereals and a tablespoon of strawberry jam (I literally cannot eat all plain yogurt), and that is like 600+ calories! The jam is only 40 calories… but the rest!?!?!?!?!?! Now that is pissing me off, honestly.

I use an app (it’s a cute monster on it; therefore, I use it) called Yazio, and on that app I use the can/camera/scanning bar codes to check for calories, fat, protein, etc., and pretty much e v e r y t h i n g is a lot of calories and fat. So I honestly don’t know what to do. I think I’m going to contact a dietitian and ask for advice, etc. (even though I know what to eat and what to avoid) because for me, it doesn’t help with veggies (I eat a l o t of veggies) and barely helps me avoid as much fat and carbohydrates (or what it calls) as possible and add more protein supplements like turkey, chicken, etc. Yet I gain weight. I am very strict and firm with what I eat. I haven’t eaten candy for sooo long. Nor chips or popcorn (yes, I have quit eating popcorn). No cookies, cakes, etc. I have cut as much sugar out as possible (I can’t avoid sugar in food (not adding) that is in pretty much everything).

I’m going to figure something out... the question is only what...

I’m going to go to sleep now. My left eye is “burning” so much and has been doing that pretty much all day. I blink constantly, and it’s annoying.

Speaking of the first line in this post, note that I am a full-time student plus a full-time mom. So having moments by myself is golden hour for me. My time. My alone time. Which normally contains watching YouTube or playing a game I just found (last night), and it’s super addictive.  Only today the showing of the time I spent on my phone… 14 hours... 12 hours is the game. Now that’s insane! So I’m thinking of uninstalling the game due to my being glued to the phone for 12 hours straight! That’s awful! It’s insane how phones, social media, and games can take up so much of your time and how super addicted we are to all of it. It’s actually scary, to be honest.

Anyway, Im off to bed. Tomorrow plans; hospital – library (or something) to sit down and focus on studying. Disassemble my son’s bed so he can get his brand new bed. A big boy bed!

Goodnight.

Shopping with a person with ADHD is .. interesting.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Sent two assignments in. Went shopping. Studied more. Made dinner. E is sleeping, and I am in bed.

Hello my beautiful sunflowers 🌻 Today have been a kinda hard day for me.

I have studied pretty much all day today. Sent two assignments in plus two that was not an assignment yet. How? From the books. The teacher writes the questions that are in the books as assignments, so I did that. “Wow, it goes fast,” was a comment from my teacher. Funny! So I explained to her why I do so much now. In case my son gets the flu/gets sick, I won’t fall behind so much. Which is true, though.

I wrote yesterday about the microwave and how it flashed, so it died. It broke my routine for the night, but luckily for me! WE WENT SHOPPING! Woho! We bought a new microwave today so my nightly popcorn can happen again! Happy Emma!

Why nightly popcorn? I don’t know, honestly. It started this winter that I ate popcorn every night and now can’t stop. Lol! So last night was a bit hard for me 😅 but today I got my popcorn! 🍿 🍿

While buying the microwave, I decided to buy a new pencil case. Yes, I bought one. Even though I have one but I cant find it now. I have a gut feeling at I have accidentally thrown it away. Not sure though but oh well. I need a pencil case for the studies so, I bought one. $9 😮‍💨 So expensive! My other pencil case is bought for $3. That’s triple the amount. Insane!

I also “ran” around in the store, looking for stuff and on stuff. I was all over. Even I would have complained if I saw how I was walking around, etc. Lol! No, no one complained but I got a lot of looks, lol.

Afterwards we went to another store where I bought two new frying pans, a bottle of shower cream, and 😏 an 8-pack of Pepsi Max. Hehe. The addiction is real, people. Horrible, but it’s there. I have found a way, though, to minimize my drinking during the days (no, I’m not talking about alcohol. Only Pepsi Max), and that is I don’t drink out of glasses where I can see how much I have in it. I use my water bottle metallic thermos and drink out of. Works so well! Since I did that, I have not been drinking as I used to! So lets continue and see if I hopefully can minimize it 60% (or more).

So now my bag is packed with laptop, books, papers, pencil case, extra books that I’m selling tomorrow and tomorrow morning I will pack down chargers for my phone, laptop and headphones.

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Today’s dinner is simple yet so yummy. Even E said repeatedly, “Yum!” “So good!” “Good!” “Yummy.” That made me so happy! He is very selective when it comes to food but thanks to the fact that we have been challenging him a lot when it comes to food, he can eat almost anything. Except soup,which I understand him.

Maybe it doesn’t look so yummy in the picture, but it was delicious for the tummy.

Minced meat with red onions & cooking cream. Gluten free pasta for me (I’m gonna try gluten free to see if I’m allergic to gluten) and some vegetables 🥰

Yes, it looks A LOT on the plate but I could only eat at most half.  🥴 Too much, but honestly, it’s not a lot on the plate. Oh well.

So im off to bed now. The alarm goes off in five hours 🥴 and honestly, I’m hungry!

Thursday schedule in school;

9am – 12am Food and health

12am/pm to 1pm Lunch

1pm – 4pm Health pedagogy (is that even the correct word? According to Google translate it is)

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Goodnight my sunflowers 🌻

Countdown has started and iam in my maniac mode of planning

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Countdown has started.. School is soon over and our family vacation is coming up.

Unfortunately i have missed too much in school, I have to re-study the course again. It sucks but what to do? My son has been sick a lot lately which has made me missed so many classes of the course so I decided to study it again from the beginning. Apparently it is a normal situation for parents who studies this course so I honestly don’t feel ashamed. Math isn’t really my subject I can master but last time I managed to go to school I almost broke down due to how much I have missed and how far ahead the others are compared to where iam so I  at that class restarted my book again, told my teacher and it was fine.

Countdowns; 21 days til course is over (school) for this semester • 52 days til the vacation.

I can finally tell you guys about the vacation. I’m honestly nervous. It is the first time we will ever go on a vacation this way with our son. As you might know , our son has autism 3 and is non-verbal so going to Switzerland by car will be a challenge. 

How come Switzerland? We honestly it was not my idea. We are actually going there with an other family who my husband knows and they suggested Switzerland. For me, I have no idea what to do there. Like I have never ever had any thoughts of going there but here we go. So iam in full massive planning maniac mode right now. Reading online about tips, ideas, recommendations etc on how to travel with a child with special needs. It is so hard!

Do you have any ideas? recommendations?  What to think of and what not to do, when it comes to travel by car with a child who has special needs?

This is all new to me honestly. I am very nervous to go this far by car with our son but I am planning where to stop and finding places for E to be able to run and play around at on our trip to Switzerland. Play areas, food stops, adventure lands etc.

imagine, we are going through the whole entire Sweden, Through Denmark and through Germany to go to Switzerland. We are also planning on going over to Italy etc for day trip and so if possible. A lot needs to be planned and Iam in full maniac mode of planning to make the trip smooth, fixing passports (done), lists, bags, equipment etc.

Not easy to go anywhere with a special need child . it’s scary but on same time iam excited.