Chaos, paint on face, volcano and.. troublemaker

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

First day back after two weeks!

Oh my god, my head is tired! I went to school today for the first time after being home for two weeks, and it really takes on my energy and head. Don’t worry, the father had a day off from work, so he was home taking care of E.

Today we did a volcano that I have only seen in movies and series—a VOLCANO! Well, I didn’t participate in the design of making it, etc., but I participated today as a “teacher,” showing kindergarten kids what happens if you mix different ingredients, etc. I barely did any talking because I was focused on taking videos and pictures because it was so much fun! And something new!

When a group was giving their presentations, the rest of us had to pretend to be kindergarten children, and if you know me, I went ALL IN. Everyone was those quiet, non-troublemaker, so I was the loudest, troublemaker child. Haha!

Heck, I even painted on my face because some kids do that. I really went all in on the character.

Just a little bit of paint, and oh my god, the reaction my skin got after! Burning, itching, and awful. So when I came home, I cleaned it better (only used soap and water in school) with facial cleaning water and put moisturizer on.

Due to the bad lightning and me trying to fix the lightning of the picture, the black mooshed out paint doesn’t show.

Another group gave us assignments to make animals of toilet paper rolls, and I did a bat, but during lunch break I was bored, so I tried to make a spider and paint it. I will take a picture tomorrow if it. I didn’t finish any of them though, haha! I didn’t have time!

The third group had dancing, etc. We got to dance to different songs and try yoga positions, and oh my god, I now know I am old when my hip and arm hurt. Lol!

So; First making animals of paper rolls. Then our volcano experiment and last dance time.

This was my Monday. Crazy fun, but oh my, the energy is gone on me and the headache. No joke! Haha! But it was a fun day in school, but I realized that I have missed so many fun things they have done for these past two weeks.

I hope you all have / had a wonderful Monday!

Much love ♡

Past two weeks has been crazy

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

school, flu, stomach bugs, studies on hold and still in new medicines trying stage.

So, I have been quiet. Reason; above. I have been home from school for two weeks now. First I had the flu and now son had stomach bug and flu on same time. He is still not 100% so I will probably keep him home next week as well.

School; before I became sick we had a theater with sockpuppets.  We were three groups and everyone picked each story the teacher gave us as option. We could all have picked same but we all decided to do one of each.

My group did a skit about a child stealing a toy from another child who were playing with it. (All these stories were about solving conflicts between children in daycare/preschool). We were three in my group ~ I & D. I was the child who had the toy first and D was the teacher / mediator.. Me? I was the troublemaker.  Haha! I said over and over again that I was gonna be that child.

Everyone in the class had these easy conflict-solving skills, and here I came with an attitude, making car sounds and playing around. Stealing the toy whenever the other children ( I) took it back or the teacher had it.

The class laughed because I REALLY lived into the character and my teacher laughed as well.

The week after the flu struck. I was completely knocked out the entire week. Luckily E wasn’t home for a few days, so I could recover and rest a bit. Saturday night, stomach flu struck. This time, on E and the day after, the flu. So it has been a crazy weekend plus week.

Studies are on hold due to me being knocked out and my son being super ill; I haven’t been able to study one single bit. Hopefully on Monday I can go back to school and I can start with my studies again.

Still in the trying-stage of new medicines.

Yeah, you read right, and like I have written several times, I’m keeping this blog raw and authentic.

I’m still in the trying stage, or whatever to actually call it. I have my dips and downs, but I’m working hard to get better. Slowly at the moment to not rush my head to a major massive crash.

Much love ♡

What kind of education is this!? I am so confused

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Sometimes I wonder what kind of class I’m studying.. Sockpuppets??

We had a theme.. Animals and staff in preschool. Make sockpuppets to have a theater to solve conflicts.. I didn’t want to make an adult so I made a weird looking bat. To my defense,  the scissors to cut with was awful. If I had my tools that I had at home, it would be alot prettier. Lol. Now it looks.. I don’t know.. But it looks funny!

Sadly my teacher told me to do a sockpuppet you can use it to “talk”.. No. Those gives me creeps. Lol! Luckily, I can do what I want and no need to do anything else. Lol when it comes to crafting will mean.

Hi hello my beautiful souls! My life has been insanely dumb towards me there for I have been quiet. I actually made a recap post yesterday but didn’t post it due to me writing it on my way to school and I actually got “car sick” lol. Bus sick maybe is a better term. I will post it later though.

BUT HOW ARE YOU!? Suck a long time ago (January 22nd I think)

I apologize for my absence.  Long story short (longer in an other post) mental health, new medicine, stopped instantly with my old medicine with out “stepping out” on it and a lot more.

Here I am though! Not mentally stable yet but slowly working towards it! One step at the time!

Healing is active courage—showing up for yourself even when no one is clapping.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about returning to who you were before the world taught you to abandon yourself.

I am healing at a pace my nervous system can trust. I refuse to rush what took years to survive.

Working on myself both mentally and spiritually is the best decision I have taken. Healing myself from childhood traumas and sorrow, and for hurting myself for years, takes time. 

I’m still alive! I have been physically exhausted and missed school this week’s Tuesday, but I’m now on my way to a city for a dentist appointment for E. A child dentist (pedodontist) who specializes in special needs kids. 

I prefer sleeping, but the adult must adulting today. Lol!

Wow  I actually smashed it! I’m shocked!

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

First week of school for this semester and I have already smashed it! On a positive way.

Yes I cussed on the picture, therefor the blurred words. Sorry, but I am so happy!

I have been to school every day this week, and I am honestly proud of myself! Even today, with no sleep (when writing this post, I have been up for 30+ h. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to sleep.) but I smashed it.

This week we have had crafts on one class ~ make something (we had to think preschoolers) that they could tell us their feelings. Well, the class used papertowels rolls, some papers etc.. Me? I made an elephant in “3d”. First time I ever done one and honestly, I don’t like it. It’s not done yet though. It miss facial expressions etc.

I’m removing the black strings when they have helped me give shapes. And yes… It’s embarrassing, but hey, at least I did something else, and my teacher likes it. A lot. Ph, the clay thing next to it… I have also made that, but before holiday break. I didn’t have my tools, so it looks awful. Fun fact: I used to build and make a lot of things in clay and paint them. Roses, animals, statues, etc. I was so detailed on things, but sadly I lost interest in doing it, but I do kinda miss it.

Back to school week

Today I had an exam, and I smashed it. I got an A. 15 out of 17. One box was missed, so if I had answered that one (and not missed it), I would have had 16 out of 17 points instead. But it’s ok. I’m pretty ok with today’s result.

I have also sent assignments/essays to my teacher, so I’m actually a bit ahead of the class. Let’s hope that continues.

Slayed two makeup looks this week!

I am actually shocked! I have had two makeup looks in school this week, and I am so happy and proud of myself that I had that energy to do it. Making myself feel a little bit more alive when out in public. Lol! I will show pictures later, in an other post though 

No sleep, yeah… I’m a walking zombie at the moment.

I couldn’t sleep. I had my usual things (sleeping pills, and no, I’m not ashamed of admitting that). After all, I’m keeping the blog raw and authentic, but they didn’t work. Why? I don’t know. So while I was awake, I studied, watched YouTube, did makeup, packed a bag, etc. Note that I was home alone, so I didn’t wake anyone up. 

I pray to God I will be able to sleep tonight. I am so tired, but my brain is in full speed. Eyes are heavy, body aching. Feels like my body is about to collapse so let’s pray and hope that I will fall asleep tonight.

This weekend will test me if I don’t get any sleep. Studies, laundry, cleaning, cooking, household stuff, son being home (pray that he will be in good mood this weekend) and save the last makeup I have.

The makeup > E has currently ruined / destroyed a massive eyeshadow palette with neon colors that I finally started to use again. It makes me sad but, I’m not mad at him. Sure im said about my palette but im not mad. He is into makeup and that makes me happy, but I do wish he could stop use mine and use his own that I have for him. Yes. I have given my son eyeshadow palette of his own. One from my collection that I haven’t used. Daddy doesn’t approve but hey, im not judging and iam supporting my son to try new things so let’s go!

I’m actually going to wrap this post up for now, but I will be back soon. Much love, my beautiful souls 🤍

Return.. to the… oh no

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

Preparing mentally for the return to school.

I know I have been quiet but honestly, my mental is getting prepared (plus recharged) to go back to school with over 3k kids. 😬

Hello, my beautiful souls! 🩷 I hope you all are doing well! I haven’t blogged since January 5th, I know, but I have been trying to get as much rest as I could before school starts tomorrow. I was so stressed and had so much panic, etc., about me sending the assignments in before the deadline, so I crashed after. Mentally, my entire body and brain got drained of so much energy.

— ADHD —

I have fallen asleep daily during the daytime, and I have also, in between this, started with new medication. I’m trying ADHD medicine again (I have not had medicines for ADHD since I was 20). I tried once, but wow… bad), and that one makes me tired as well.

— Makeup —

Pink & Blue. Yes, I walked outside with these looks. On the blue look I have added blue eyeshadow on the eyebrows as well (after taken the pics). 

I have had some energy twice so far that I have actually done makeup. If you know me, I’m obsessed with makeup and love to do makeup looks, but you know… THAT happened, but I’m slowly getting back to it. I mean, I have done it twice already! The last time before these two I did makeup was in September, and before that, March. So going from having makeup daily to having it once in a while is a big change.

One of my goals for 2026 (I posted it earlier, but this is just a reminder to myself) is to try to get back to doing makeup and to try to have energy to do the things I love, such as makeup, photography, blogging, and going for walks. I miss being out in nature. Of course, with my camera in one hand and a stick to remove branches, etc., with the other hand.

— WRONG BROWN! —

Since I go back to school tomorrow (read, +3k students), I wanted to dye my hair. New semester, new hair. Honestly, I wanted to dye it red, but to let my hair rest, I did brown. It doesn’t make me dye my hair often if I have brown compared to when I have red. 😬 When I have red hair, I dye it 3-5 times a week—yes, you read that right!!! So imagine how ruined my hair is. Everything to just keep my bright neon red hair going.

I tried to make the light “normal,” but I took these in the bathroom, and it has yellow lights, so I apologize for that. // ADHD & HAIR DYE—total disaster / No, I didn’t put a stamp on these.

I thought I bought just a regular brown hair dye and after looking in the mirror, it was super super dark! Yes I took selfie with the cardboard box but I didn’t look at the number 😬 I had taken dark brown and it looks almost black on me. Oh my.

So we’ll see how it looks tomorrow when I get ready for school. I always let my hair air dry, so I don’t know how the color really is until tomorrow 😅 it dries super slow. 

— Wish me luck —

I’m both excited and mostly anxious about going back to school. I don’t know if I passed the classes last semester or not. Honestly, I don’t feel motivated to go back, but I refuse to quit now.

I hope you all have a wonderful week 🩷🩷🩷

Chaotic start of 2026

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment
The focus, the stress and the chaos has been real! So glad it’s over for a little bit now.

Hello, my beautiful people! I apologize for not blogging this year (yet), but I have been stressed like a maniac!

Remember when I told you guys that my mental health isn’t so good and that it has been declining?  Still low at the moment, but between Christmas and this last Saturday (January 3rd) I have been maniacally stressing through assignments, sending them in, correcting them, chatting with teachers about grades, school, etc.  Last night I made, hopefully, the last piece for this semester. 

Grades will be decided on January 8, and my next semester starts on January 12th, so I am back to school soon! Crazy!

Let’s appriciate the fact that I have gotten some energy back so I could do some makeup again 🙌🏻

I know that one course with the awful teacher who name-called me and disrespected me a lot this semester is done 🙌🏻 I passed it! Thank God.

Long story short, I passed Kost & Hälsa (Food & Health). I don’t know about the rest, but I had 50 assignments to send in before January 1st. Due to my mental health, I couldn’t make them earlier, but in one week, I made them all. The focus, the discipline, and the live chats I was on (TikTok), talking with friends, made me continue. I finished them! Woho!

So for this semester, I made a promise to myself to never let this happen again! So pray for me and my mental health. 

Two more semesters and I a m d o n e finally! I have also made a decision to take a break from school (I have been studying nonstop for ten years) to focus on myself and to work.

So yeah, that has been my reality for the past… weeks? But here I am.

Happy New Year All you beautiful souls ✨️

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL SOULS ✨️

Thank you everyone for being a part of my family! I am truly thankful for each and every one of you 🤍 I apologize for not being do active in the blog due to my mental health but I will try (can’t promise) to be more active here in the blog.

This year has have both ups and downs , sadly most downs. I really hope that 2026 will be better to me and my mental health.

2025 Positive

  • Amsterdam, January
  • Tokio Hotel concert, March
  • Italy, July
  • Norrtälje,  September
  • Met Michaela & Helle (after 8 years)[Tokio Hotel fan] (Michaela I met in September, Helle I met in March and went to the concert together)
  • Started to do makeup again {not often but still}
  • Started a new education
  • I picked up my cameras again

2025 Negative

  • My mental health
  • Body collapsed
  • Had to cut off my hair
  • The teacher in school
  • Italy, July (why? read here)

My forever new years kiss, valentine and forever my greatest love 🤍

This year I have watched my son grow much. Both as a person, as my son and as a small man. He has participated in graduations in school, participated in performance shows, gotten best “grades” in school. He is more brave now and he is  just wonderful.

This year E has started to communicate so much more. He communicates with signs and simple words. He has also started to learn English, speaking English, counting etc. It is a super big change compared to last year and I am so shocked, so happy and so proud.

This year I have been abroad twice. Once in Amsterdam, The Netherlands  and one time in Italy. Amsterdam I went with M but Italy I went by myself.

Amsterdam, January 2025.

Amsterdam, January

Burano, July [Italy]

Venice/Venezia, Italy,  July.

I had always wanted to go to Murano & Burano in Italy. To see the colorful houses, the beauty etc. The day before I went back to Sweden, I finally went there. I didn’t know how to get there and it was so confusing but I managed it! Woho.

Norrtälje,  September

Norrtälje,  Sweden. First time I met my beautiful friend Michaela after five months chatting online. We connected when I commented on her tiktok and boom. instant friendship. Read all about my weekend in Norrtälje here. Many ups but soooo many downs.

Photography ~ bringing my cameras out.

This year, I found a bit more passion of taking pictures than I had earlier. Unfortunately it went away when I started to decline more in mental health so my goal is to start again.

backlit autumn leaf sunlight
backlit autumn leaf sunlight

2026 Goals

  • Better mental health (hard work)
  • Finish school & education
  • Continue my weightloss journey [well start more strictly]
  • Clean toxic stuff and people out of my life
  • Focus on myself
  • Blog & Instagram better
  • Travels [Lisabon, Cyprus & maybe Santorini]
  • Make more music [we’ll see]

Sure, some might seem impossible, but I will try to work hard. I’m not going to say, “OH! Yeah! 2026 will be MY year.” No, I said that about 2025, and here we are, haha!

I wish you all a wonderful and beautiful 2026! With all luck, love, power, strength and wealth ✨️

May 2026 be your year!

Christmas eve 2025. Ups and downs.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment
I hope you all had an wonderful Christmas- or if you celebrate it today, have a wonderful Christmas!

In Sweden we celebrate Christmas on December 24th. I dont know why some countries celebrates on 24th (Scandinavia and some part of Europe I think) and some on the 25th.

The gingerbread cookie… Will it make me nice or not? Do I get presents/gifts next year or coal from Santa?

Our Christmas has been been a rollercoaster. It has been both good but also overstimulated for E. Luckily it was just the three of us – if we were more, it would end bad.

Some part of the Christmas dinner. Yes, I had been eating the saffron cake during the day due to me being in front of/over the stove pretty much all day and I hadn’t had time to eat. 😅

This year we tried something “new,” and it was fried raw potatoes instead of having regular potatoes. Honestly, not bad, but it made me realize that I’m tired of fried raw potatoes—we have eaten that a lot lately.

It looks way more than it really is on the plate. I had to go close to get pictures of it all. Lol!

Raw fried potatoes, ham, meatballs, sausage (prinskorv in Swedish > prince sausage), my homemade saffron cake, liver pate and beetroot salad. Delicious!

We also had spareribs with honey & ginger glaze, but I didn’t like that.

E tried mustard for the first time last night and he likes it! Ew in my opinion.

Fun fact: I use mustard on the ham before I put it in the oven, and when M and I went Christmas food shopping, I grabbed a bottle of mustard—just to use it for the ham—and I said, “Having this big bottle will be unnecessary because we use it one time a year and later have it in the fridge. “None of us eat mustard,“ but lo and behold, E eats it. So now the mustard will come to use and not be all the way in the back of the fridge.

Now when Christmas if officially over in my household,  everything with decorations, tree etc will be packed, boxed and off to the storage room again til next year.

The reason why so fast is that I really hate Christmas. I haven’t had a good childhood/adulthood when it comes to Christmas, so if it was up to me, I would not put up a Christmas tree, decorations, etc., but I do it for E because I refuse to let him have the same bad childhood on Christmas as I did. Normally I pack down everything on the 24th when E has fallen asleep for the day/night, but this year I had no energy after having been in the kitchen all day, plus cleaning and trying to study/send in essays at the same time, but this weekend it will be removed when E is not home.

Anyway, enough about the bleh moments! I’m currently watching my son playing with the toys he got, and hearing him laugh and seeing him smile is worth everything.

I took pictures of him opening presents, etc., but I don’t want to show them here, but I will share one toy I bought him that he is obsessed over.

It’s supposed to be an advent calendar with 24 different boxes for him to open one per day but we all know that wouldn’t work so we decided to give him as a present instead.

This truck with all the cars is his new obsession. He also got a radio remote car, a new garbage truck (his old one is in bad shape and he is super obsessed with it), a new backpack and some more I can’t remember right now.

Successful Christmas for E. I got my Christmas food, and that’s all that matters.

Merry Christmas my beautiful and wonderful friends 🩷🎄

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆2 Comments

✨️🎄✨️

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MY BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL AND LOVELY PEOPLE 🎄

I hope you all have an amazing and wonderful day with your loved ones 🩷

Thank you everyone for have being a part of my life 🩷 I’m truly thankful for each and everyone of you!