I am still alive but it has been so much going on behind the scenes of the blog but here I am right now!
Hi guys! I hope you all have a wonderful week! The weekend has been crazy for me and preparing for the internship I have through the school / education has been a roller coaster.
This week, I have internship at special need school (mild special need children) and honestly, I was terrified when I started yesterday. But everything is going great! Even my supervisor tells me that! How crazy isn’t that?
Yesterday at the internship
I hung around with class 3 & 4 on their classes. To my surprise and shock, the classes were around 45 minutes up to an hour at the time. I’m used to 3 – 4 hour classes! So my surprise when my supervisor told me this.
Today, at the internship (25/11-25)
It started good. Some of the classnhas building on schedule and some of the classes has something else.
It was so hard to draw the start. Which took me so long! Hopefully tomorrow we can drill the holes along this board.
Other than the meeting today, I had a good day. Photography, hanging out, walks, sunlight, sunsets, and cold.
Today I actually slept in. Well, I got E to the bus and later went to sleep instead of going to school—the reason was so I wouldn’t get mad before the meeting with the principal. Sleeping in is something I never get to do due to having a child of school age but also with special needs.
Cheating D a y
After the meeting, E and I went to our regular place to eat. I was mad, and I was hungry. Hadn’t eaten anything plus PMS on that (yup, still keeping my blog raw and authentic) so we left to PizzaHuset (PizzaHouse) and I ordered my burger plate and E her pizza (pic below).
I use an app to enter everything I eat daily to keep track of the calories I eat in a day—no, I don’t trust the app 100%, but it gives a “good” view of the food. Anyway, after I entered the food in the category “dinner,” I wasn’t so surprised by the calorie intake, at the same time as I was surprised. I mean, I know it was a lot of calories, but I thought it would be way more than the app showed, so that is the second thing that surprised me—it wasn’t as high in caloripoints as I thought. Odd.
I have used the app for a little bit over a week (I think), and according to the app, I don’t eat my maximum intake of calories per day—which is good—but I don’t think I’m supposed to eat almost 3k calories a day if I’m going to lose weight, so, yeah.
Dinner – burned burger and fries Perfect combo
beautiful sunset
I want to buy this building, fix it up, and make it a home for me and my son. Well, move it first, of course. Away from the train tracks.
Click on the pictures to view them in bigger size
Tomorrow (friday) I’m starting again with my lifestyle changes I’m proud of myself so far to be able to have changed lifestyle a bit, to keep going and traing, smaller plates etc.
No matter what I do, no matter what I say… they always make me look like the bad guy in the situations. Even when I want them to know that it was not ok and I didn’t want to be disrespected like I was.
Hello my loves. I know I have been quiet for a few days (3 days, except the daily prompts) and reason is; I haven’t felt well. I feel much better (except for what was said today) so I will try come back ASAP.
I did three exams on Wednesday and I passed them. Shocking because I didn’t study but yay!
Today I had the meeting . . . . the meeting i wish never happened. If you guys remember from this post (clickable link) you know why I was in the meeting.
The meeting went horribly wrong. According to the principal, I am a liar. She laughed at me when I spoke, so I told her not to laugh at me because that makes me mad, which it actually did. The teachers denied it, and the principal is protecting their asses – which I also said to the principal.
So it’s like, the teachers can say and do whatever they want towards students and people, but when a student/person defends themselves or takes action in their own hands (in my case, writing to the principal AND the teacher, letting them know that I am not accepting and not ok with what was said and done), it results in them being disrespected by powers (the powers are the principal and teachers).
Of course I got mad (and I know they read my blog HEEEEEEEEY!!!!!! I’m pissed at you!) and got into a defense mode. I know what she said (and so does everyone else in the class but is too damn scared to stand up) and what happened. I left the class and haven’t been to her class since then—yup, not one time. So we’ll see if I go back there after the internship next week.
Right now, this will eat me inside because I want to explode on both the teachers and questioning them so much but I’ll be the bigger person and take it to the next step. 🙌🏻 Which step? Oh, I will tell you all later. No it’s not a threat though 🤷 So they can’t do anything about that. Oops.
So, whatever I say or do, I am always the bad guy according to people. Even when the truth comes out and someone is standing up against the person who does wrong. They are so scared of what could happen.
That was the meeting. It was longer but no bother to write it, it would only make me mad again.
It depends on the situation but mostly yes. When it comes to my son – always! When it comes to myself – depends .
Such a weird thought, though. Never something I think about, but when it comes to children—always, no matter what age. Mama instinct comes out as well. At least for me.
If I get a feeling something is off/wrong/don’t do it, I stop them or whatever. Me? Well, let me just say, I don’t wait for a green light.
That is exactly what I am doing. I’m just moving in the shadows. Not telling anyone around me my plans, ideas, thoughts, etc. (those I haven’t told don’t know about my blog), and honestly, it feels so good. Not having to worry about judgments, arguments, etc.
Keeping my weight loss journey, the education, and my mental health away from certain people makes life so much easier. Knowing how they would behave, react, laugh, be mean, etc., wouldn’t help me keep going.
Today I have actually studied! Yes, it’s true! I have even sent in three assignments! Now I only need to do the rest of the assignments, and I will be on the same level as the class. Oh, who am I? Haha!
Today has also been an energy-stealing-upsetting-mode day. This came a few hours after I studied.
I have cried. I became insecure about stuff, and I couldn’t shake it off. Millions of thoughts, tears, music and and screams inside my head. When I saw E’s face when opening the door and he said, “Hello, friend,” everything went away for a bit. I’m in bed, and it has come back, but this time, I’ll fight it.
REGRETS
I shouldn’t have eaten that sausage now before bed, or in general. Having toast (grain bread) and a slice of sausage on the toast made the calorie scale go above the limit for the day. Like, excuse me? Apparently, the bread I’m eating isn’t healthy either! Even though it says it is and the ingredients are healthy, I guess I was wrong. Also, my breakfast All-Bran flakes aren’t healthy either… So I need to Google what safe foods are and what’s OK to eat while on a weight loss journey.
It’s Monday, and I’m just a few days in on the new weight losspath I’m on, so I’m not worried. I will try harder and learn more about nutrition, healthy and unhealthy foods, hidden sugars, etc., so I can achieve my goals.
Weight loss journey talk here
Today I tried “normal” food—hash browns—for dinner, and knowing how much fat is in them and knowing how the pan would look after they had been in the oven, I wasn’t so tempted to eat them, but I had to eat. My blood sugar was getting low. Seeing how the pan looked like after they were done, I couldn’t eat more than three of them. I made five each (15 in total) due to them not being big (they are small).
Today in list
power nap- 1h
studied for 3h
sent 3 assignments to my teachers
dinner > 3 hash browns w/ lingonberry jam (which I regret)
“Hello friend!” makes me smile every time
regrets
insecurities & tears
I apologize for writing this post all jumpy on different subjects. My brain isn’t functioning right now due to a massive headache, so I’m actually just going to try to get some sleep before E comes to my bed.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli.
My son is currently listening to “Nu kör vi igång,” meaning “Let’s get started” in Swedish, while playing his drums, and honestly, the song is right! Though the song is about something else, that line, “Let’s get started,” and “Let’s keep going” is such a powerful lines, and that will help me keep going to achieve my goals.
Today, I have made my decision to only step on the scale once a week. Just to try not to become a maniac with the obsession to go on the scale again several times a day like I normally do but keep an eye on the weight so I don’t gain it all and keep the motivation up.
So I will step on the scale every Sunday to see what I have “to work with” the week after.
The scale shows -4 kg since Monday. Yes, I dropped another kilogram since yesterday, so let’s keep going!
-4 kg (2025.11.16)
Keep going on the goals
Today I will make hash browns for E and I will have a frozen dinner ( Chicken Butter Masala, home made) and some veggies.
Today’s to-do: clean the apartment ● fold laundry ● hang up clothes ● sort old clothes out from E’s closet that he has outgrown ● maybe meal prep (if time)
Trying so hard to not fall for the temptations of unhealthy stuff is really difficult.
I promise I won’t only write about the weightloss journey but I will share updates, progress etc. So I can go back to my blog and read if I lose the motivations one day
Grocery shopping,
the second challenge
I went grocery shopping today. I was missing a few ingredients for today’s dinner (changed plans), and while being at the store, I struggled so much. They had freshly baked cinnamon buns, and those are also my weakness. I took a picture and sent it to my friend and wrote, “I am tempted.” She said, “Nope!” so I answered her, “I walked away,” and I am proud of myself! I did NOT buy any! It’s not often I buy them, but today it was awful how they triggered me, but I managed to resist the temptations! Plus points to me!
Grocery list;
2 bags of onions
2 bags of carrots
1 parsnips
1 2kg bag of potatoes
Some bananas
One healthy yogurt natural
Lemon mayonnaise (the only unhealthy thing)
1 bag of frozen vegetables
1 package of button mushrooms
Pepsi Max (I will continue being strict with myself)
I changed my mind on today’s dinner and I am actually (be shocked! because I am!) craving fish! That has never happened before.
Today’s dinner
(the changed plan)
Fried raw potatoes (I will use measuring cup when making) ● fish ● vegetables ● button mushrooms ● onions ● boiled carrots ● maybe a bit of the parsnip as well
Yes I know i eat button mushrooms a lot but hey, atleast they are healthy!
I have also started to eat carrots as night snacks before bed; that’s why I bought more carrots. I have honestly made a 180 on my lifestyle when it comes to food. Maybe I should say… 300°, not fully 360° yet.
What’s the first impression you want to give people?
Well, honestly, I just want people to stop thinking I am a b*tch by my looks. I want to show that I’m a kind person, caring and friendly. Yet people say to me that once they got to know me, they saw that I’m not a b*tch, but it was their first impression, and I don’t like that.
I also don’t want people to think I am rude and annoying. Judgemental etc.
Hello my beautiful boo’s 🩷 I hope you all are doing fantastic today! I hope you all had or have depending where in the world you are at right now, a wonderful Saturday/(/or sunday).
Why am I shocked, and what am I planning?
Well, on October 26th (Sunday) I started with the 16:8 diet but changed it to 17:7 due to school. Unfortunately my blood sugar didn’t respond so well to that diet, so I had to stop with it, but I have kept a bit from it.
Slowly showing and it keeps me motivated to keep going. Slowly but steady. I’m not gonna become a maniac as I was back in 2022 and walked daily for 3 months and lost 40kg.
Lately I had started to eat “breakfast” and cut back a lot on Pepsi Max. As you all know, I am heavily addicted to Pepsi Max and normally drink 4-6 L per day! I know, insane! But lately I have been struggling with cutting back while at the same time struggling to drink more water. I have gone from 4-6 L per day to at max 1.5 L, but the past couple of days I have only been drinking max 1 L. Tonight (and other nights) I had 0.5 L of Pepsi, and I am so proud of myself. I have been drinking tons and liters of water. According to an app I use to keep track, I have drunk 3 L of water today—now that’s insane! So in total I’ve been drinking 3.5 L today, and oh god, I am beyond proud.
I have also stopped eating popcorn (which was a heavy trigger for me) and started to eat more carrots instead for night snacks! Never happened before, and I actually don’t feel hungry after two hours or so, so that is a win-win!
From my weight last Monday (10th of November) until today (15th of November), the scale shows -3 kg! THAT IS SHOCKING! Like what!? I can’t believe it but it makes me motivated to keep going! So I’ve actually started to plan on workouts for me to do! Crazy! No, it’s not boxing; it’s actually water aerobics.
I have looked into prices and locations and times and when I can go for regular swimming, and I am going to purchase a 10-times card in the beginning and try it out.
I won’t get electrocuted?
I have also ordered (I can’t without music) a waterproof MP3 player that I can attach to my bra while swimming, and luckily, a pair of headphones was included, so let’s go!
Hopefully they work. According to the description and website (all about water sports, swimming etc), it says it is. You can even dive 3 m with them. So I think they will work? If not? Oh well. Let’s just hope i wont be electrocuted in the water!
Ordered a waterproof mp3 player
Looked up prices, times, etc. for water aerobics and when to do regular swimming.
Looking around for a bathing suit, but I don’t know.
Today’s dinner
½ dl rice ● 1 chicken breast in oven ● 100 gram of fried button mushrooms ● ½ dl of fried onions ● 3 dl of veggie mix and 1 tbs of currysauce for flavor
