Category: 2025 posts

Shocked, but super happy

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

I am in shock. Five days and it already shows?

Hello my beautiful boo’s 🩷 I hope you all are doing fantastic today! I hope you all had or have depending where in the world you are at right now, a wonderful Saturday/(/or sunday).

Why am I shocked, and what am I planning?

Well, on October 26th (Sunday) I started with the 16:8 diet but changed it to 17:7 due to school. Unfortunately my blood sugar didn’t respond so well to that diet, so I had to stop with it, but I have kept a bit from it.

Slowly showing and it keeps me motivated to keep going. Slowly but steady. I’m not gonna become a maniac as I was back in 2022 and walked daily for 3 months and lost 40kg.

Lately I had started to eat “breakfast” and cut back a lot on Pepsi Max. As you all know, I am heavily addicted to Pepsi Max and normally drink 4-6 L per day! I know, insane! But lately I have been struggling with cutting back while at the same time struggling to drink more water. I have gone from 4-6 L per day to at max 1.5 L, but the past couple of days I have only been drinking max 1 L. Tonight (and other nights) I had 0.5 L of Pepsi, and I am so proud of myself. I have been drinking tons and liters of water. According to an app I use to keep track, I have drunk 3 L of water today—now that’s insane! So in total I’ve been drinking 3.5 L today, and oh god, I am beyond proud.

I have also stopped eating popcorn (which was a heavy trigger for me) and started to eat more carrots instead for night snacks! Never happened before, and I actually don’t feel hungry after two hours or so, so that is a win-win!

From my weight last Monday (10th of November) until today (15th of November), the scale shows -3 kg! THAT IS SHOCKING! Like what!? I can’t believe it but it makes me motivated to keep going! So I’ve actually started to plan on workouts for me to do! Crazy! No, it’s not boxing; it’s actually water aerobics.

I have looked into prices and locations and times and when I can go for regular swimming, and I am going to purchase a 10-times card in the beginning and try it out.

I won’t get electrocuted?

I have also ordered (I can’t without music) a waterproof MP3 player that I can attach to my bra while swimming, and luckily, a pair of headphones was included, so let’s go!

Hopefully they work. According to the description and website (all about water sports, swimming etc), it says it is. You can even dive 3 m with them. So I think they will work? If not? Oh well. Let’s just hope i wont be electrocuted in the water!

  • Ordered a waterproof mp3 player
  • Looked up prices, times, etc. for water aerobics and when to do regular swimming.
  • Looking around for a bathing suit, but I don’t know.

Today’s dinner

½ dl rice ● 1 chicken breast in oven ● 100 gram of fried button mushrooms ● ½ dl of fried onions ● 3 dl of veggie mix and 1 tbs of currysauce for flavor

Have a wonderful day!

I’m bummed

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

He is supposed to start a free time activity tomorrow but we have to cancel it.

Happy Friday my boos!

Today has been an OK day. The struggle with abstinence of Pepsi Max is real (I’m addicted so while doing my healthy lifestyle turnaround, I’m also working on my addiction) and I can honestly say, I have ONLY had 50cl today! Which is ridiculously little!

My addiction to Pepsi Max is out of control. I drank up to 6 L per day, so imagine how I am now and how I feel with this struggle. It’s working sort of. I wish it could have been easier to just stop all of it instantly.

So far – I am dead proud of myself 👏🏻

“I’m gorgeous, right? Bleeh jokes on you! I’m not!”
Filter for lashes and the heart things.

After the walk I had earlier today (read HERE), I actually had a little bit of “home spa night,” which I normally have on Sundays, but today I felt I wanted and needed it.

I was supposed to go to a meeting today, but I had to cancel it on my part (M went on it luckily) due to taking care of E when he has a stuffed nose and is sick. He was supposed to go to school today, but nope, I had to report him sick, so it’s been a… “calm”-ish day. M had worked, came home, and ate. I got ready and went out on the walk at the same time as the grocery shopping. So much needed for my brain and mind. Even though the walk was short—but hey, sunlight, music and frost—I’m not saying no to that (could have skipped the frost and the cold part though)

Tomorrow E is supposed to have his very first hockey practice.  J (my friend) is training (again) in hockey, so I have spoken with her, and she checked with her trainer, and E is allowed to train with J and the girls. Sadly, that has to be canceled as well. Hopefully next weekend will work!

today in list;

  • I did fall asleep this evening
  • I have eaten three carrots with aioli dip (not much) as night snack before bed
  • I have watched one episode of 1000lb Best Friends, and I get more and more motivated and inspired.
  • Grocery shopping
  • Been out on a walk
  • Felt proud of myself for the first time in a loooong time
  • E asked if I wanted to play with his toy trucks and I dropped everything I did and joined him.
  • Messing around on the floor (yes, I lay on the floor. No construction service was needed to call to help me get up of the floor. Lol!)

That’s pretty much my day.  Nothing special. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.

1000lbs Best Friends made me a bit motivated.

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆1 Comment

The TV show is opening my eyes. I never thought it would do that but now I am slowly adjusting my life and my habits.

1000 lbs Best Friends is the show I am currently watching. It’s actually an eye-opener for me. I know I am big and overweight, and I have been working on it but this show actually shows me tips and tricks on new ideas and life choices. 

(I’m writing this for me but heeeey boo! Thanks for reading. I hope you are having an amazing day)

In one episode I have watched, they have visited a fitness center where they had kickboxing and boxing. I have been interested in that for a long time, and seeing how much fun they had, them sharing their problems, etc., makes me actually want to look into it. Instead of just going on walks and photowalks. I want to do something else.

I went to the gym before, and I went there pretty much every day, but I had to quit because it was causing more problems mentally, and I couldn’t go there. So the gym is off the radar right now, but maybe later.

I have started to write a “food diary.” I have been against it my entire life. I thought it was ridiculous, but honestly, I need to, just to see, for example, which time of the day is worse, what I eat, etc. This time I’m going to try. Yeah, I know I talk a lot about weight loss, etc., but I have been struggling my entire life with weight problems (PCOS, genes, etc.).

Food diary ● look up boxing or some kind of workout activity ● Find a therapist to talk about my problems ● Work on my bulimia ● Work on my diabetes

So as you see, it’s a lot to do but I’m going to try.

Sunlight yet minus degrees Celsius outside

Sunlight, cold-biting cheeks and .. Just breathing

Today I have actually been out for a walk. I needed to get out of the home and clear my mind. So much is going on in my head and you all know me. photos is always taken!

Click on make bigger size (all off those)

Even when the sun was out and shone so beautifully, it was freaking cold. Now the winter is coming. They have already warned about snow—I am NOT ready for that!

My walk was just approximately 30 minutes; I wasn’t dressed properly, but at least I was out. Windy and biting feelings on my cheeks. Now I actually have a headache after the cold on my forehead. I forgot my headband—well, I didn’t think/know that I needed it. From now on I will use it.

Today’s dinner

Swedish sausage stroganoff with rice with vegetables,  boiled carrots, button mushrooms and onions.

Grocery shopping

I have also been to the store and bought all bran flakes, müsli, bananas, yogurt, etc. Just to keep up my “healthy” breakfast & before-bedtime snack—Turkish or Greek natural yogurt with muesli. I do need to buy frozen fruits, though, instead of using a bit of strawberry jam to get some flavor.

QUESTION..

Do you wish for recipes i try on my weightloss journey? Or do you have any recipes?

My recipes will not contain eggs & seafood . I don’t eat that

First I was afraid, then I was petrified. AND It was very First time for him!

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆Leave a comment

It’s been a few days since I blogged last time. Yes, I have had the blog constantly on my mind: “I must blog! I must do that, do this, write that, write this.” But honestly, I haven’t had the energy.

Lately my energy has been declining, so I think my iron in my blood is low again, so I need another round of infusion.

I fall asleep everywhere, and I mean everywhere, such as in school, on the sofa, on chairs, etc. It’s embarrassing, and it makes me mad. The last time I had this problem was in like 2021 or something. 

I haven’t been able to go to school and participate well, and that stresses me out. The assignments are piling up, and I have like no energy to sit in front of the computer, let alone to study. It’s frustrating to be honest.

Even though I sleep (as much as possible at night when the headache/migraine is calm), I still go back to bed after I have my son sent off to school, or I fall asleep later in the evening.

Yes, I have tried to get a doctor’s appointment to get blood samples taken for iron but also for my pancreas and blood sugar, but no success. No one wants to help me. So that is frustrating me as well.

Ok, enough about negativity– yes I feel it became a lot of negativity but this has been bothering me so much lately.

Last week I went to the dentist and finally picked up my new mouth guard even though I was terrified of using one. Why? I had one when I was 15/16 and slept with it for one night, and the day after I woke up completely deaf in my right ear. It took 2 of my siblings plus my mom using forks to get that mouth guard off my teeth, and one of my siblings screamed right in my ear, and I couldn’t hear anything.

That’s why I am terrified, but to my surprise, I actually slept with it—the night after. I used it a lot during the day and evening to get used to it and also to see if my hearing gets affected again. NOPE! Hallelujah!

Tonight (Tuesday, 11th November) will be the 5th night I have it on when I’m sleeping. Sure, let me be honest, I wake up every morning still terrified about my hearing but slowly getting used to wearing it.

Does it give me ache in jaws and head? Yes. Massively.

Is it worth it? Hopefully.

I got this for two/three reasons. 1. I grind my teeth when I’m sleeping, apparently. I don’t know. 2. To help relax my jaw muscles 3. To help with my headaches/migraines. So far? No clue if it works. I haven’t noticed a difference, but I’m still going to use it.

Birthday Party!

E was invited to his very first birthday party and I couldn’t be happier. Ofcourse I was there as well to help if needed (or support my son in meltdowns etc) but it all went so good. I actually cried of happiness!

At first I was (of course. As an autism mother you are always on your toes) nervous but also excited! My baby is going on his first birthday party.

Off to the bus stop we go!!

Safety first! That applies to the backpack as well!

Washing machine was very interesting!

Cooking and doing laundry.

Coloring & cutting

Fun!

On our way back home.

I can honestly say, I am super proud of E. No meltdowns. No scream. Curious and didn’t want to listen—yeah, of course.  New place, new people—new impressions.

What is ok and what is not ok?

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆1 Comment

Is a teacher actually allowed to say this to a student? or not? Since when should a student get so mad they leave the class and school. Is it normal?

Hi hello my beautiful people! I hope you all are doing well! I am currently in the bath, in shock but mostly pissed off.

Is a teacher allowed to degrade a student and tell them insulting stuff?..

Infront of a whole class plus the other teacher? Yet none of them said anything back to the teacher L . Oh this is the same teacher as I wrote about HERE, Where she called me and J names. .

Let me explain from the begin (yes iam still super mad, well no.. im pissed)

Today in school, we had a class called “Good and health”(/  Kost och hälsa) and today it was about laws, rules and all that shebang. Which i kinda knew like 99% of what the first hour was spoken  about and the questions asked. Oh yeah, I didn’t last in class for even an hour.

All of a sudden, the teacher L (who was insulting me) asked how many were voting, and I said honestly, “No. I don’t vote” (let me clear things here, I do vote but not for some team). Because all of them are saying the same stuff, never keep the promises, and never actually work for it to make it happen. Plus, I’m not into politics, etc., She turned around towards me and said this (and I quote), “You don’t deserve to live in Sweden! You should move and live in Iraq, Syria, or any of those countries! Those who have dictatorship! You don’t deserve democracy.” Like… excuse me? Is a teacher really allowed to say that? Getting personal and attacking me by saying stuff like that. Oh, I never had a chance to finish my sentence after “no.”

Picture this, it was me plus ten other students and one extra teacher in the class so we were total 11 students and 2 teachers.. Yet NO ONE stood up for me and told the other teacher off.

It ended up me leaving the class to try calm down (which FYI, didn’t work) so I chatted and told J what happened and she told me to go home. So I did!

I went into the classroom,packed all my stuff, put the laptop back, grabbed my bag and left. L (the teacher) said “Are you leaving?” so I answered her “Yeah iam.. and it is your fault” and smacked the door close.

Sure, it was maybe not a smart move from me to do that with the door but I was so angry! So mad!

I left the school entirely.  I couldn’t stay. It would have been chaotic and having me so mad there, would make the situation worse.

Caramel latte and a saffron bun

After what happened in school, I needed coffee. I don’t drink regular coffee, so I had this. It’s not often I drink this (anymore).

I went home, and 9 hours-ish later, I am in the bath. Still mad and writing this post. I can’t calm down. I have actually sent an email to the principal, and I have written to the teacher letting her know that it wasn’t OK what she said and did towards me.

Are teachers actually allowed to be like this towards a student??

This isn’t the first time she is being rude towards me. I had the same teacher when I studied nurse assistant ..

HOORAY HOORAY!

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Today is not a regular day! Today is my child’s birthday! Hooray Hooray!

I blurred his name due to it’s being unique here in Sweden and i have readers from here.

Happy Birthday! Today you turn 8 years old! 2017-11-02 at 5.26pm you came to our world ! It’s been chaotic and a Rollercoaster but mostly laughter!

The joy when he saw the drumset we got him. Well, his dad bought it, but it’s from us both. I laughed out loud when I saw the size of the box. E is tooooooo big for the drum set, so we are going to sell it and buy a real set for him.

I will blog later. Just wanted to post this celebration 🩷

Spilling a secret.  It’s scary for me.

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Happy Halloween and Happy November 1st! CRAZY how time flies! I wanted to post yesterday and wish you all a happy Halloween and also say to stay safe. In Sweden people has started with that clown bullshit again. That thing that was a trend few years ago. Well, in Sweden they still do it.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN &

HAPPY NOVEMBER 1ST!

🎃✨️🎃

Lately I have been super busy with school, meetings, education for ADHD / AUTISM, having exams, send in assignments etc plus getting ready for tomorrow because my son E turns 8 years old! Now THAT is insane and crazy!

Yesterday’s simple makeup. Red eyeshadows with mix of brown colors and yellow lines. ● How suitable aren’t my tattoos when it’s Halloween? Snake and a pumpkin face.

Surprising E the day before his birthday

M is planning on going to the swimming pool/aquatic center with E, which is a lovely idea. E loves being in water and play around.

Yesterday I did makeup (I think I’m slowly getting back to it, but not daily as I had before). I miss doing makeup and actually wanted to do like a Pennywise (the dancing clown) with the red from the mouth and above the eyebrows, like a clown shape but in black. I decided to not do that due to the grocery shopping we had to do.

So I might do it later. Maybe tomorrow for school? Haha! Na, probably not.

Better view of the yellow lines. It actually look weird on one eye but oh well

Update on my diet but also a deep secret of mine is getting … told.

Short update on the diet I’m doing. I have changed it a bit from 16:8 to 17:7 due to school, and lunchtime is at 12pm. It’s going well. I’m hungry, yes, but I wait. I don’t eat any unnecessary things like popcorn, chips (it’s been a long time since I last ate that, but I write it to make it understandable of what I mean), candy, etc. 

I try to cut out carbs, but it’s hard, but I am taking way less than I did before. No white bread. More vegetables and more meat/chicken. I started this last Sunday, and I’m going to weigh myself tomorrow and see. Yes, I‘m struggling with OCD at the same time as it comes to the scale. Before, I checked my weight every time I had eaten something, used the bathroom, drank water, or so. It was an obsession, and I was manic about it. So I struggle with it. 

We’ll see how this first week has done, and I will try more to change my lifestyle.

I have also cheated on my plan to actually cut down another addiction I have, which is Pepsi Max, so I have actually (this makes me laugh that I even have done this) made a plan with the help of ChatGPT, but it’s working! So that’s good.

I write this update actually for myself, but hey, I also share it with you. Like I have written earlier, I’m keeping the blog raw and authentic, so here we go.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and an amazing month!

Yes, I know I blog more… less with days between, but honestly, I have no idea if y’all like that or not.

Today was a fun day, but I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head. Help?

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Two things in this post. Please answer the list part. If you can ofcourse.

Sometimes it’s all listening and no fun, but also sometimes we have fun. Today was one of those days!

Hello, my loves! I hope you all are doing good today!

Today i have actually been the whole day in school except for the last hour because I had to leave earlier so I could catch the bus so I could get my son in time (problems with the principals at the extra after-school place)

Today in school we had fun project which was to make a presentation where we had in our minds that we are teachers and worked with kids in preschool / day care. Everyone did good and I jumped in with my presentation with other kind of songs that the teacher gave links to.

We had to think about the children with special needs, how we could / would adapt us to them so they could participate as well. Well with everyone, not only special need kids.

We had to include movements, play, and all that stuff. We also had to think of any aids (that sounds so weird) so everyone saw the structure of the activity, etc. 

In Sweden (I don’t know how preschool and schools work in other countries), they use visual support to show what will happen, so everyone included that! We also had to keep in mind the sign support.

So what did I do? Well, my son is always listening to songs on YouTube where the singers do signs when singing—not like sign language but using their body and hands to reinforce words they sing. I hope you all understand what I mean.

Anyway, I picked out three songs from that singer/group, and it was so fun. Everyone (almost) participated in the signs and songs. Some didn’t.

After everyone had their presentation of their projects (some worked in groups, and some did the project individually—I did it alone), we continued to listen to children’s music—which you can see in the pictures.

I have started a diet and I was wondering if someone has done the same or maybe a similar or something else.

I have started with the 16:8 diet, and I just started it last Sunday (26th of October 2025), and so far it goes well, but I’m worried. I have googled and checked if it’s ok to do this diet when having type 2 diabetes, which I have, and it says it’s ok. I’m wondering and have questions about it, but no, I can’t contact a doctor about it. I’m still waiting on them to contact me about anotherthing but also about taking blood samples—anyway, I am so confused. What is ok, and what is not ok? What can I eat? What can I drink? How will my blood sugar react and act?  Like I said, I have googled around and checked official websites for healthcare, etc., in Sweden, but still, so many questions.

Do I need to?? Also, people are stealing—what’s going on?

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After discovering someone has stolen the photos of me I have posted here, I feel the need to start marking them. Which I honestly don’t want, but here we are.

For the past few days I have been just resting. As much as possible. I am so tired now all the time—so tired that I have fallen asleep several times each day. 

On Monday I’m gonna try to get an appointment to take blood tests to check my iron level in my blood etc. I have low iron and had to take infusions before to raise the iron in my blood. I think it’s time to do that again.

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Anyway, plans changed, meetings, education, school assignments, laundry, deep cleaning & a child having a meltdown. Well, several meltdowns.

Hello, my loves! I know I haven’t been blogging daily like I used to, but honestly, nothing special happens to me right now, and to try not to make the blog boring and make you tired of the updates, I’ll post every other day or something. I have googled to see what is a “good” amount of posts per week, and Google says once or twice per week. Isn’t that too little? I’m used to writing blog posts daily, sometimes several times a day, and seeing this suggestion makes me think. Is it better, or do you want me to keep posting like I do?

I honestly have no idea. Lol! Help? Ideas?

Wednesday: meeting at my child’s psychiatrist (I don’t know what it’s called or if this is the correct word) to start the investigations for my son for ADHD—investigation? Is that even correct? According to Google Translate, it is. Oh well. Fell asleep.

So many questions were asked, and so many answers were given. So much talk. It was step two. Step one was her meeting E at school. (Note that this psychiatrist was the one who gave E the diagnosis Autism level 3.) What the next step is, I have no idea. We’ll see what happens. Fell asleep .

Thursday; home from school (migraine)

Friday: S T R E S S with capital letters. First education, and I had to leave early due to a meeting. The stress was crazy. Going from one place to another, but I did it! I managed to get there in time. Fell asleep afterwards at home.

Saturday: Pretty ok day. Fallen asleep as usual. The tiredness is no joke, my dudes/dudettes. Laundry and just trying to relax before Monday and a new week.

Sunday: Don’t know yet other than I have laundry time and must do a deep cleaning of the home. Do some hocus pocus to see if it works—just going to try. For fun.

I will get back to you all about the Sunday later, but for now, I’m going to bed and sleep. Even though I have slept today, I am super tired right now. My eyes are becoming crossed and my eyelids heavy as… I don’t know. Just heavy. 

I have also sent my posts on Instagram (@thecaffeinatedraccoon) to archives to start over, so I’m going to try to update it as much as possible. I have also uploaded on my photography account on Instagram (@eej.foto), which I will also try to update as much as possible.

Goodnight my beautiful pumpkins 🎃 🧡🍂

Held to the Light – A Backlit Autumn Leaf and a Moment of Stillness

Published on by ☆ Emma Santorini ☆3 Comments

Sometimes, the most beautiful moments of fall come when we simply stop and look.

backlit autumn leaf sunlight
Held to the light, this autumn leaf tells a story only the sun can reveal.

A hand holding a bright orange maple leaf up to the sunlight in an autumn forest. The sunlight glows through the leaf, highlighting its veins.

While walking through the forest recently, I picked up a fallen leaf—burnt orange, slightly curled at the edges, and still warm with the memory of summer. I held it up to the sun… and it glowed.

In that light, the leaf transformed. Its veins glowed like tiny rivers of gold. Its colors deepened into fire. All the intricate details—the wear, the specks, the quiet signs of change—stood out with stunning clarity.

That one leaf became a small window into the soul of the season:
A moment of beauty.
A moment of change.
A moment of letting go.

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Black & White picture below

Which one do you prefer? The colored  one or the black & white?